For My Pals In New Mexico...

It has come to my attention that maybe a few of you don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say with this latest cartoonish and shitty image I created.

...and that's OK.  Don't feel dumb.  I'm kinda weird, so sometimes my idiotic crap might not make any sense.

So...what is this red slash through the blue bar all about?

Well...it's the "thin blue line"...cops.  You know...the small number of guys and gals who bravely protect all us quivering, terrified, and defenseless masses from the bad guys who want to rape our dogs and kill our women. 

You see these in license plate form or bumper stickers on cop cars and on vehicles owned privately by holster sniffers and badge polishers.

I saw one on a minivan yesterday, and with the gunning down of several folks in Alba-Kracky recently, the whole thing kinda pisses me off.

(Then I remembered this other wonderful story about New Mexico cops.  FUBAR.)

Here in Indy, they wanna add another 500 cops to the street 'cuz the ghetto apes and meth-heads are slaughtering each other wholesale.

...and I'm like, "I don't need it done.  Thanks anyways."

I'll pass.  I neither want nor need a cop on every street corner.

I don't need a cop, (or anyone else), inserting themselves into my day and/or life, because when it happens shit most often goes sideways.  This is a lesson I learned first-hand several years ago when I voluntarily involved cops into my life with (what I thought) was a relatively cut-and-dried and trivial matter.

Never again.

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Why you hatin' on cops?  You would be the first to call them if zombies attacked your house.  Hell...your dumb-ass life was saved by two cops when you were a kid.  Hypocrite.  Fuck you and die already!"

Ha!  About 5 years ago, I spoke to (and thanked) one of the two cops who prevented my family from being shot to death by an escaped convict 45 years ago.

Know what he said?

To paraphrase:

"I retired a long time ago, and I'm glad I'm not a cop anymore.  These new guys are fucked up."

He don't need it done either.

Some also might be saying, "Zoomie!  What about the frail old ladies and cuddly small children and kittens who aren't innernets tuff and threatening and angry and capable of defending themselves like you?  Should they be left to the tender mercies of the thugs?  Answer that one, smart-ass!"

Good question.  I am first inclined to think that old ladies and children and kitties should be protected by their men-folk (fathers, older siblings, sons, nephews, cousins, trusted capable neighbors), but that would be sexist dinosaur thinking.  I mean, what if the children and old ladies and kitties don't have any men-folk?  Then what?

Hell.  I dunno.  I'm not very bright.  Who needs a man?  I guess they're fucked.  Call 911...

In conclusion...as far as cops go, am I paintin' with a broad brush?

Motherfuckers, I'm paintin' with a roller.

And it's turbo-charged...

I'm tellin' you good cops...you'd better get your shit in one sack and clean up your mess.

The world's a big place, but I'd hate to paint it.

Various Pictures...

More about StingRay...

I am remorseful...

Anybody Play WarThunder?

Zoomie Boyington

I am a closeted fighter pilot.  Have been since I was a kid.  I loves me some WW2 airplanes, and I get aroused at the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin (Packard) engine.

Yes.  I have issues.  Multiple issues.

You knew this.

At the risk of sounding like a computer geek asshole, I admit to playing WarThunder.

WarThunder is a free multi-player online flight-sim game I play from time to time when I grow weary of the mind-numbing treason I see all around me every day.

WarThunder is from a company called Gaijin.

Gaijin is a Russian company...and therefore suspect...so that is the reason why I use a PC dedicated solely to gaming so that they and Vlad Putin can't spy on me and the important other shit I do online.

(Being Russian also means Gaijin has seriously fucked with and amped up the flight models of the Russian planes and has made them almost indestructible...which I think is terribly amusing.) 

Anyhoo...I find it loads of fun to swoop down on unsuspecting noobs and shred them to pieces with .50 cals and cannon fire.

What's not to like?

Actually, I also admit I am not a very good WarThunder player, and I get shredded and flamed more often than not by mouthy punk kids from all around the world.

One needs an updated rig and high-speed intardnets to play this game, though.  My shitty DSL can barely keep up, and you'll need a decent video card and a good processor to take advantage of the stunning graphics.

If I wasn't such a cheap bastard, I'd get a Comcast or Verizon intardnets connection or whatever the fuck is out there that is faster and make my wife and kids and me happy and no longer have lag problems and stuff.

But apparently, my family's happiness is not of paramount importance to me.

I know.

I suck as a father, husband, and provider.

So...in conclusion...if you play and you wanna team up and blast commies outta the sky, look for WalterZoomie or leave a note in comments and we'll wreck some fools.

Or not. 

Tally-ho motherfuckers!

A Song For Eric...

Yes.  I know.  Welcome to last week.

I've been busy.

Anyhoo...so our buddy Eric Holder almost vapor-locked?

Lol.

Got me to thinkin'...

With apologies to Bonnie Raitt...

Rainy night, you’re all alone
Sittin' there waitin' for the launch of the drone
 
Fever turns to cold, cold sweat
Thinkin' about things you ain't done yet
 
Tell us now, we’ve got to know, do you feel the shame?
Do you just light up at the thought of the game?
 
Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin' up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's plain justice sneakin' up on you
 
Nowhere on earth for your ass to hide
Once karma comes sneakin' up on your blindside
And you might as well try to stop the rain
Or stand in the tracks of a runaway train
 
You just can't fight it when a thing is meant to be
What comes around goes around, to put it simply
 
Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin’ up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's real justice sneakin' up on you

Bringing It

My take on a vintage anti-Bolshevik poster...

Saul Alinsky would be so very proud of me.

Maybe.

By Request...

...from a UK reader.

The original art (above) was a government-produced guilt-trip against rear-echelon pogues, old fucks, and service-dodging window-lickers who had little to no interest in marching headlong straight into massed German Spandau machinegun fire during World War One.

The cowards...

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Talk is cheap.  That's all I hear or read from you.  Why don't you lead the assault?  I am tired of your keyboard 'leadership.' I shall ignore people like you from this point forward.  Dick.  Hurry up and die."

I will be leading no assaults because I am a man of peace...like Gandhi or Mandela.  

I am also a pussy.

And I'm busy...

Taunt me further and I will bludgeon you with my Teddy bear. 

For My Pals In Connecticut...

In response to this...

...I offer you this.

Here's a version that is more printer friendly and you won't use so much of your expensive ink.  Feel the love...

I hope I have been helpful.

If not, I apologize.

Apps To Solve Problems

I am sorry.

NetFlix "House Of Cards" A Must-See...

Indeed...

An extremely well-done mini-series.

The second season is available now.

Political intrigue and skullduggery at its finest.

The sleaze is exquisite.

I imagine the real thing is infinitely worse.

You will want to shower after viewing.

Netflix here.

It beats the hell outta network and cable TV, neither of which do I watch any more. 

TJ Thugs O'Vomit!

I apologize.

We all know by now about O'Vomit's remark.

Yes...it was an off-the-cuff moment, and the douche-nozzle was trying to look cool and tough for the Frog President...but at the same time it was also a telling Freudian comment.

Everybody with a functioning brain gets it.

When it happened, the circumstances got me to thinking about a few things.

O'Vomit at a place of reverence like Monticello is just plain wrong.  I mean, just think of how many brilliant ideas...ideas O'Vomit despises with every molecule of his being...were developed and took root there.

The fact that Frog President Hollande would visit Monticello is no surprise to me, because my long-addled brain somehow remembered that Jefferson lived several years in France and was reportedly quite popular there.

In fact, Jefferson and Ben Franklin partied like rock stars while in France...swilling booze and banging whores and making it rain all whilst trying to convince the Frogs that they should probably try to not kill each other off in their revolution and to give us money and guns and other high-minded stuff.

Yep...those two could multi-task like motherfuckers!

Then I thought about the comparisons between O'Vomit and Jefferson.

And I laughed heartily to myself.

When one stops to ponder further on the matter, has an original, deep, compelling, world-altering thought ever spewed forth from O'Vomit's filthy man-pleaser?

I think not.

It has been nothing but third-grade, second-hand, socialist psycho-babble treason.

Actually, when I really stop to think about it...why in the fuck would Obama want to go to Monticello (or even be allowed to go there) in the first place?

Seems to me Chicago is the place he ought to be...