Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Daddy Needs A New Pistol: An Exercise In Futility

In looking for informed ideas on a new sidearm, I asked some experienced and combat-tested Marines and Navy Corpsmen their opinions on the matter at a private internet site. The exchange got very interesting, heated, humorous, and profane, and I thought I’d present to you, my valued readers, a somewhat one-sided view of the entire mess.


Because I'm so fucking good, I'm gonna get me some free bonus money from work.

Thinking about getting a Glock, because my sidearms, although totally serviceable, are antique as fuck, and I'd like to get something modern and higher-capacity to shoot zombies with.

If my mommy will let me, the above is the plan.

Or, should I just shut the fuck up and play Counterstrike because it is safer?

(SIG suggestion)

Two-toned firearms are imprudent and improper, and I don't like all the notches, harsh angles, and rail attachment thingies either.

(slingshot suggestion)

Too difficult to carry concealed. Tactical holster availability non-existent. Ammo prohibitively expensive.

(FNH P40 or P45 suggestion)

Not bad, but notchy thangs on lower would be a concern.

(taser suggestion)

Won't draw blood or make heads explode. No loud and awesome report when fired. Little to no intimidation factor. Rarely lethal.

(Llama Mini-Mag .45 suggestion)
(High Standard 1911 suggestion)

I already have a 1911....a REAL one...a GI Colt, circa 1945, in great shape. Why would I want a cheap knock-off?

(C71 with attachments suggestion)

What's all that shit hanging off of it?

I hate accessories.

Keep it simple.

Trigger well is big enough for fucking Mickey Mouse to stick his entire gawdamn hand in there.

Does it come with the quilt? It is quite lovely!

(H&K USP .45 suggestion)

Not bad...even though it looks a little bloated and trigger well is big enough for mitten hand.

I don't want to get something so outrageously exotic that it's impossible to find reasonably priced holsters for it.

I want something that isn't a safe queen and won't break the budget to plink with.

Ammo price and availability a big factor also....In addition, it should be apparent that I don't care for the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Terminator bloated steroid looking shit that's out there now...

Practical, proven, reliable, rugged, simple, economical...kinda like me! (sounding more and more like a Glock)

(Glock 19 in OD green suggestion)

Maybe the black one, but OD is gay.

(Luger suggestion)

I don't want a fucking Nazi-ass Luger either. Fuckin' things go off all by themselves and kill GIs like in Band o' Brudders.

(put your bonus money into a 529 for your kid(s) and stop being so selfish suggestion)

Fuck 'em. I've paid for everything else up to this point. Where is it written I must pay for their college? If they want it bad enough, they'll figure out a way to work for it.

Daddy needs a new boomstick.

…besides, Obama's gonna take care of the free college thang anyways.


Just returned from my local gun store.

I finger fucked a new metal framed Cz75 9mm, new S&Ws M+P 9mm and .40, and a used Glock .40.

The CZ was a really nice gun, fit and finish great, and sexy lines, but too heavy for what I want.

The used Glock .40 is a police turn-in. It is light, fits my hands good. Price is right, but it didn't arouse me too much for some reason.

The Smith & Wessons MPs were a real surprise. I fell in love quickly, even though it has notchy things on it. It fits my hands great, and is comfortable and natural to hold. I think I just might go for the SW MP .40!

Further research indicates certain S&W semi-auto products to be sucky. Nevermind…


It will be a Glock 23 or a Smith M+P .40.

I will make my final decision when I go into my local gun store next week and put it in lay-away.

I will post copious amounts of images of my new firearm purchase.


I ordered a new Glock23 today.

Cash and a vintage Winchester Model 24 sealed the deal.


The M24 had been refinished, had a small crack in the stock, and a removable rubber pad on the butt which discolored the wood underneath a little.

The bores were shiny and not pitted.

I've had it for 10 years and never fired it.

I'm not really into shotguns.

It belonged to a late great uncle, who I barely knew, so it didn't mean a whole lot to me like the firearms my grandfathers, my late father, and my uncles owned.

I let it go for $300. A guy who pheasant hunts bought it.


Some of my other handguns...

The upper wheelgun is a piece of shit High Standard .22 model 21s. Fun for my boys to plink with.

The 1911 is a GI Colt, manufactured in 1945. Original grips were plastic, but I replaced them with the Pachmayrs pictured.

The Smith .38 snubbie is an antique M+P. My late old man acquired it from his police buddies to carry because he made a few unsavory enemies whilst a reporter for the Indianapolis Star newspaper.

Dad received his fair share of death threats due to his investigative reporting.

In fact, one shit-bird he helped convict disarmed a guard and escaped custody while getting some medical treatment at a local hospital.

Shit-bird had ripped a page out of a telephone book with our address on it, and was on his way to our family home with plans to tie Dad up, then shoot me, my brother, my two sisters, and my mom...all while he forced my dad to watch!

Fortunately for us, shit-bird was nabbed by observant cops, just a few miles from our house, before the heinous deed could be done.

true story...



My new toy!

Now I need to take it to the range and give it a test run.

I'll give you a full report with pics.


Regarding my new Gock23...I have spent some quality time with it already...practicing emergency stoppage correction drills, and field stripping it and reassembling it under the covers blindfolded with the lights out at night wearing mittens while being talked to sternly by my old lady.

Soon, I think I will give my new Glock a good cleaning and talk to it lovingly for a while.

Next, I need to purchase a suitable home in which it will reside while I carry it.

This holster must be a warm, comfortable, inviting, and safe place for it to live.

I'm thinking one of those Fobus or Blackhawk paddle holster things would be a good starter home for my new toy.

As a solid foundation for my new Glock's home, I have already ordered one of those Wilderness Tactical Frequent Flyer belts.

Yes. I will look like a Gun Shop/Range commando before too long.

Finally, I will take my new Glock to the range very soon and thrash the dog snot out of it.

Initially, my new Glock will probably be thinking, "WTF?" after being treated so nice for so long.

Then, it will remember that it is a dirty filthy whore that can withstand all kind of unsavory abuse.

My new Glock needs a name. I think I will call it Barack.

Yes! Barack the Glock! Brilliant!

As a side note...I took my oldest son, 16, with me the day I picked up Barack the Glock from the gun store. On the shelf was a beautiful Mosin Nagant.

For those of you ignorant and/or afraid of firearms, a Mosin Nagant is is a bolt-action, internal magazine fed, military rifle that was used by the armed forces of the Russian Empire, the Soviet Union and various other nations, most of them from Eastern bloc.

The Commies musta made eleven trillion of them.

Anyhoo, the one at the gun store was marked $159.

My kid was all excited when he saw it and that he could afford it with the birthday money he recently received.

I told him I would allow him to buy it if he wanted it.

Am I a bad dad for allowing my son to purchase a vintage Soviet battle rifle?


BTW...here's a shot of my Glock and its new carry rig.

Fobus paddle holster on the Wilderness Tactical Frequent Flyer belt. Seems to be a pretty nice, comfortable, and versatile setup for civvie puke carry...concealed or not.



In order to justify owning a handgun, some of you may be asking, "....where is it you live that is so wild? I am not asking for a specific locale. Just how far are you from any real crime?"

I live in Indy.

It's not really wild, like in Dee-troit wild, but enough stoopid shit goes down here, and I'm up and about at the retarded hours due to my job when assholes want to try to jack a fool.

Last week I woke to cops and K9s in my back yard due to a prowler/sex creep call a couple of doors down.

A few years ago, a local city cop was shot and killed by a crackhead a few blocks from my crib.

Homes/garages are getting burgled on my street.

Shit can happen anywhere, man.

I don't flash, pose, or look to go all Death Wish on motherfuckers.

But... I'm not gonna lay down and give up my hard earned shit for anybody, and I sure as fuck ain't gonna stand by while a bitch tries to hurt my family.



I don't carry a gun to kill people.

I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don’t carry a gun to scare people.

I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m paranoid.

I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m evil.

I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I hate the government.

I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m angry.

I carry a gun so that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don’t carry a gun because my sex organs are too small.

I carry a gun because I want to continue to use those sex organs for the purpose for which they were intended for a good long time to come.

I don’t carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.

I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m a cowboy.

I carry a gun because, when I die and go to heaven, I want to be a cowboy.

I don’t carry a gun to make me feel like a man.

I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don’t carry a gun because I feel inadequate.

I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.

I don’t carry a gun because I love it.

I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.


Why The Gun is Civilized

By Marko Kloos

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force.

If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force.

Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that’s it.

In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact through persuasion.

Force has no place as a valid method of social interaction and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.

When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force. You have to use reason and try to persuade me, because I have a way to negate your threat or employment of force.

The gun is the only personal weapon that puts a 100 pound woman on equal footing with a 220 pound mugger, a 75 year old retiree on equal footing with a 19 year old gang banger, and a single gay guy on equal footing with a car load of drunken guys with baseball bats.

The gun removes the disparity in physical strength, size, or numbers between a potential attacker and a defender.

There are plenty of people who consider the gun as the source of bad force equations. These are the people who think that we’d be more civilized if all guns were removed from society, because a firearm makes it easier for a (armed) mugger to do his job.

That, of course, is only true if the mugger’s potential victims are mostly disarmed, either by choice or legislative fiat—it has no validity when most of a mugger’s potential marks are armed.

People who argue for the banning of arms ask for automatic rule by the young, the strong, and the many, and that’s the exact opposite of a civilized society.

A mugger, even an armed one, can only make a successful living in a society where the state has granted him a force monopoly.

Then there’s the argument that the gun makes confrontations lethal that otherwise would only result in injury. This argument is fallacious in several ways.

Without guns involved, confrontations are won by the physically superior party inflicting overwhelming injury on the loser.

People who think that fists, bats, sticks or stones don’t constitute lethal force watch too much TV.

There, people take beatings and come out of it with a bloody lip at worst.

The fact that the gun makes lethal force easier works solely in favor of the weaker defender, not the stronger attacker.

If both are armed, the field is level. The gun is the only weapon that’s as lethal in the hands of an octogenarian as it is in the hands of a weight lifter.

It simply wouldn’t work as well as a force equalizer if it wasn’t both lethal and easily employable.

When I carry a gun, I don’t do so because I’m looking for a fight, but because I’m looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded.

I don’t carry because I’m afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid.

It doesn’t limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force. It removes force from the equation….. And that’s why carrying a gun is a civilized act.



I bought some ammo, and I'm gonna buy some more wif my birfday card money.

Might go to the range Saturday if I can squeeze it into my busy social calendar.


Range time today. Taking my sons also. The Glock will be my bitch. A full 6-8 page report with opinions, photos, and a works cited page to follow.

Just got back from the range.

A good and safe time was had by all.

My first impressions of my new Glock23?

I need more practice.

Lots of it.

The Glock is a new world for me, as I am accustomed mostly to my Colt 1911 .45, and my little S&W 39-2 9mm.

The Glock23 is as advertised by many. “Snappy” is an accurate description, and accurate I wasn’t…at least not like I’d like to be.

My sons and I put 400 rounds through it today. We shot 100 rounds of Winchester “white box” 165 grain FMJ ball ammo, and 300 rounds of Federal 180 grain FMJ ball ammo.

With my share of the ammo, I had no failures with the pistol.

My oldest son had one failure-to-extract immediately after I warned him of the gun’s propensity to do so when being “limp wristed.”

My younger son had one failure-to-feed. Again…due to a suspected “limp wristing” of the gun.

Truthfully, my sons shot the pistol better than I did.

Must be those young eyes...and excellent coaching!

Here she is after being treated like the dirty filthy stinking trollop she is! Note the scorch marks and brass residue.


  1. Good job. Entertaining!

    I own 2 Glocks aready; and had recently narrowed the next purchase down to a 23. Suggest you check into getting a .357Sig barrel for your 23 ...and now you have an even more versatile and formidable gun.

    Consider having the gun customized. I've met the guy (Ben)...gone to his shop in Miami, and greatly admire his work. I'm on his waiting list.



  2. IWI Baby Eagle in .40

    the older one without the rail.

  3. Sig is one of the best manufacturer in the Guns industry.

  4. The Wham-O wrist rocket would be a good back-up piece. Yes, 0.25" ball bearings are expensive but rocks are cheap.

    I whiled away many happy hours as a kid with one of those.

    Your Glock 19: a wise choice.

  5. Being a vicious little psychopath myself, two things:
    1. Thank you for the review - the woman and I are looking into weapons at this point, before TSHTF, and being completely stupid, need lots of advice. _I_ never thought it would come to this, and I'm a paranoid type overall.
    2. I feel you sell the taser short, specifically BECAUSE it's quiet. For 1-on-1, it's an awesome way to slow someone down until you can sink a knife into them.

    (The type of groups I am welcome in - YOU carry a larger knife than the guy trying to mug you. And he is VERY HAPPY when the police show up, because then hurting will stop.... :-D )

    BTW, the woman has decided she likes a Glock .308, I think it was. I'm more in favor of a 1911, I don't want to have to shoot twice. (I know, 10,000 hours of practice to get to that sort of proficiency, but will be well spent.)

    1. You probably mean .380...which is a sawed-off 9mm. Might as well go for the 9mm, as the recoil difference is negligible in my opinion.

      Whatever you decide, I don't think you can go wrong with a Glock.

      Good luck.

  6. Glock does not make a 380 that im aware of. I do own a Glock 21.. 45 acp and it has never failed me. Another great one is my newly acquired Walther ppq in 40 cal..

    1. G25 and G28 are .380 acp Glocks according to their website:



Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.