Wednesday, September 17, 2014
More Jury Duty Tomfoolery
...but this time it's my lovely wife.
You'll notice the State has changed the format of the summons.
"You are ORDERED to call..."
There was a time when Americans didn't take too kindly to being ordered to do much of anything, especially by government shit-heads.
Are we all fucking slaves now?
...and if we refuse to comply with the State order, we are found in contempt and face fines and, ultimately, armed government goons?
But...it's an HONOR to serve as a juror. Says so right there on the summons.
...an honor to be ordered around and threatened by the almighty State.
Bend over and take it, knave.
...and be thankful.
Now...some of you might be saying, "Zoomie! You would be the first guy to whine and bitch for a jury trial when you finally get popped for spewing threatening anti-government filth on the intardnets. But here you are...crying again about getting called up for jury duty. You suck! Hurry up and eat a shotgun already!"
First of all, they'll never take me alive.
Second of all, I don't own a shotgun...or any firearm, for that matter. I got rid of my guns when I found out they were dangerous and scary. In return, the nice government man gave me a WalMart gift card which I redeemed for a red Snuggie and a bag of caramel apples.
When they come for me, I will bludgeon the jackboots with my teddy bear.
And besides, it's my old lady who got the summons this time.
I did my part. It's her turn.
No word yet whether or not she'll go all Nathan Hale on them downtown.
I kinda doubt she will...but then again, she's pretty pissed right now because the summons is gonna fuck up her Fall Break plans.
She's a lot nicer than I am.
Them's the ones you gotta watch.
at 1:00 AM