Monday, February 19, 2007

Snow Day 2007 and Other Trucking Stuff

February 13, 2007

It was a gaggle screw this morning whilst driving my big rig. Took 2.5 hours to get from Indy to Muncie. No lanes could be seen. Had to drive by feel.

I get to go to Ft. Wayne Wednesday, where they have the snow emergency....only emergency/medical vehicles allowed on road. Since I'll have a semi full of hospital supplies, I qualify! Already cleared with the State Police....

Long johns, extra hat/gloves/change of clothes, cooler full of food and drink, fire starting equipment, flashlight, full tanks of fuel are the order of the day. (Marine Corps cold weather survival training kicking in) I'll bring my Kodak Instamatic along too. If I survive, I should get some cool shots of the frozen devastation.

If I'm lucky, I'll get stranded near a hotel, or in Ft. Wayne....

February 14, 2007

My trip today to Ft. Wayne was relatively uneventful. Thankfully. Since I am a professional driver and stuff, I don't get in a hell-fire hurry when conditions are not good. Actually, I rarely get into a hell-fire hurry ever because I am paid hourly but I am extremely efficient, so don't go thinking I milk the clock and stuff...

The roads weren't near as bad as I expected. I was almost disappointed. I like a challenge sometimes.

I do not like to travel closely with other tractor/trailer units. I never know what kinda 3 week trucker school wonder might be next to me, so I ride by my lonesome. It's more better that way, I've found.

Here is a picture I took today. This an example of what happens when one or more semis ride closely together and they are piloted by Billy BigRig and his travelling companion Mr. SuperTrucker. One, or both of these drivers made a wrong mistake near Gas City.

Wrong mistakes in the trucking industry can be very costly in equipment and lives. I bet one or both of these drivers wished they had noticed the black ice which is clearly illustrated in this picture just to the right of the center line.

I am sorry that this photo is sorta blurry, but I was in motion and driving and junk while I took it. I'm guessing some of you are thinking right about now that maybe I shouldn't have been taking snapshots while driving.

I can multi-task, pretty much, and I have never in my illustrious driving career jackknifed and destroyed a combination vehicle.

Anyhoo....I arrived back home safe and sound. I bet you are all happy about that too.

Watch out for the snow melt. It is re-freezing now and 4-wheelers are biffing it all over the place.

It wouldn't be prudent to crash now that the blizzard is over.


February 24, 2007

In other trucking related news...

I thought you all might like to see a picture of the truck I drive. So, here is a picture of my truck.

It is an International truck.

Some people in the trucking world call International trucks "thirteen letter manure spreaders." These mean people give these trucks such names because the International Harvester company is best known for the farm machinery they make, and International has 13 letters...hence the nickname.

If these hateful people were like me, they'd use a nickname as a term of endearment, but I don't think they are thinking lovingly when they use the term "thirteen letter manure spreader."

But, they are not like me. Maybe they are seething-with-rage ChampCar fans, or something.

I slightly altered the picture of my truck. I deleted my company's logo because one can never be too careful on the intardnets. I've heard that sometimes employers will look at their employee's blogs on the intardwebs. Those same employers will sometimes get mad and fire their employees because of what their employee says or does saying the word suck a few too many times, or something. So, that's why I PhotoShopped my truck picture. Maybe.

I am unlike most of your typical truck drivers. I do not LOVE my truck. I like it OK, I guess, but I do not love it. I LOVE my wife and family and the Indy 500. That's about it. Pretty much.

My truck is sorta cool, though. It has a good air conditioner. In the summertime, my truck's AC will darn near run you out of the cab because it is so cold. In fact, the Magic Shell on my ice cream will not melt, even on the hottest of Hoosier days, due to the efficiency of my truck's cooling system! I salute the International Harvester company's AC system designers and builders! SALUTE!

My truck also has a CD player, which is always a good option to have. I can listen to Foghat and Van Halen and AC/DC anytime I want.

I think AC/DC should be the preferred music of choice for all truck drivers, if for no other reason than the movie Maximum Overdrive. Maximum Overdrive was made by Steve King. I like him. He is kinda demented and stuff. Maximum Overdrive was not great cinema, but the soundtrack was perfect because it was all AC/DC. I can listen to AC/DC while I'm driving my truck and forget all about wanting to run four-wheelers off the road in a fit of rage. I think all big trucks should come equipped standard with AC/DC's entire CD catalog.

Yes. That would be a good and prudent thing indeed.

As a truck driver, I hear all kinds of wild stories from the road. I've heard tales of scantily or barely clad young women flashing their various parts at passing big trucks. I do not know if these stories are true. I have never seen such risque activity during my 15 years out on the road, therefore, I don't believe it has ever happened. Maybe I'm not paying enough attention to who is passing me. Maybe I'm concentrating too hard on staying in my own lane and not causing a heinous fiery accident. Maybe the CD player is turned up too loud. Who could say for sure?

What I do know is that now you know what my truck looks like, and you can wave or smile or give me some kind of signal, or something, if you see me out on the interstate.

Happy motoring. Keep the shiny side up and the dull side down and keep it between the ditches.

Lots of truck drivers say things like that on the CB and stuff.

Not me, though.

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Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.