Friday, October 7, 2011

Dear Occupy _______ (fill in the location of your choice) Protestor:

Dear Occupy _______ (fill in the location of your choice) Protestor:

You go on ahead and have your protest.

It is your right, as you well know, but I thought you should know something…

I am a man of peace. 

I am legally armed.

I have a deep love for my fellow citizens. 

I have a capacity for violence. 

I enjoy life. 

I intend to pursue happiness for as long as possible.

You should know something else about me.

Should you decide to go feral, as your European and Middle Eastern counterparts have recently gone…

Should you threaten me, my family, or my property…

I will fucking kill you.

It is my right.

I thought you should know.

Have a nice day.


Concerned American



Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.