The First Indiana Domesticated Terror-Fest Is Complete

So the Hoosier Terror festival is complete.

A pleasant time was had by all.

About a dozen total in attendance (by some who traveled great distances), graciously hosted and much appreciated, in a remote and secure area.

It is sufficient to say that I pity the fool who tries to infiltrate this particular compound.

Trusting friendships were created and strengthened.

Much cursing, smoking, sedition, and seriously frightening gun-play took place.

Not trying to brag, but I am most satisfied that I have seemingly not lost the rifle marksmanship skills taught to me by Uncle Sugar so many years ago.

It is also a comfort to know that those in attendance are as good, if not better, than I with a firearm.

Again, I thank all in attendance, and especially our host.

It has been a long time…20 years or more…since I have experienced that kind of camaraderie.

It felt good.

If you haven’t attended a Terror-Fest/PatCom, get it done folks.

You won’t be disappointed.

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This is the Zoomie Hilton at the Indiana Terror-Fest.

It was fancy and comfortable.

Sorta.

Yes. I drive a bitch car, but it was filled with guns, ammo, a hatchet, a vintage WW2 E-tool, beer, and a dead battery.

So fuck you.

The first night a pack of rabid and terrifying coyotes ran through the perimeter yipping and howling and waking me up and sending shivers of unbridled fear down my aching spine which was cracking because I'm old and haven't slept on the ground in 20 years because I'm delicate and stuff.

Too bad KnuckleCutter wasn't there.  I hear he enjoys killing innocent fuzzy cute feral wildlife like coyotes.  KnuckleCutter is a horrifying domesticated terrorist out in California, so he probably wouldn't drive to Indiana to satisfy his carnal blood-lusts.

He's kinda lazy like that.

Maybe.

Some of those in attendance stated that they were surprised at my scrawny, emaciated, compu-geek appearance...and that they figured I'd be "bigger" because of my shitty attitude and mouthy, know-it-all intardnets presence.

Then I flexed for them and got all swoll and demonstrated a thing or two on the rifle range, and they kinda backed down and slowly moved away from me.

I guess I showed them, the big dopes.

I brought a mess of cold beer, but apparently patriots don't like beer too much these days, so only a couple of us drank any, which means more for me now...so it's all good.

A couple of guys tried to show me cool fire-starting shit, but I'm a city boy and pretty dumb sometimes, so I brought a Bic lighter and some sterno and had hot coffee any damn way.

Another cat knitted a groovy para-cord bracelet for me, so now I can strangle a Commie fool with it and nobody will know how I did it because a para-cord bracelet would never be suspected in a good old-fashioned Bolshevik throttling scenario.

This one dude, who was on Deep Purple's sound crew and a Marine all at the same time, showed me how to spot and dial in a scoped, high-powered rifle equipped with menacing attachments that curve up.

Or something.

He was an active duty type back in the old days, so he had a natural hatred for reservist pukes like me who skated all the time and got all the girls stateside while he risked his ass for me and everything good and beautiful and righteous and holy.

In spite of this, we got along famously.

Then there was this one person who plays it like he's just a regular Joe civilian maintenance man or something, but few know that he is a stone cold killer with a firearm....and he never got stupid and joined the military to learn this talent either.

No.  He did it on his own, on his own dime, and was not a tax-devouring government goon at any point in his life.

I saw him shoot the asshole out of many bulls-eyes with various and sundry long and short guns.

He is a natural.  He is frightening to me.  The authorities should be informed.

Maybe.

I probably shouldn't say much more about anybody else at this event, because they made it clear to me that if I fucked up their Operational Security by posting stupid shit and photos of them on the intardnets, they would slowly...and with much glee...gut me like a carp or field dress me and string me up in my own front yard.

Such an experience would be heinous and below average, so I had better shut up now.

Thanks again to all.  It was a pleasure and honor to spend the weekend with you.

Semper Fidelis.