Anybody Play WarThunder?

Zoomie Boyington

I am a closeted fighter pilot.  Have been since I was a kid.  I loves me some WW2 airplanes, and I get aroused at the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin (Packard) engine.

Yes.  I have issues.  Multiple issues.

You knew this.

At the risk of sounding like a computer geek asshole, I admit to playing WarThunder.

WarThunder is a free multi-player online flight-sim game I play from time to time when I grow weary of the mind-numbing treason I see all around me every day.

WarThunder is from a company called Gaijin.

Gaijin is a Russian company...and therefore suspect...so that is the reason why I use a PC dedicated solely to gaming so that they and Vlad Putin can't spy on me and the important other shit I do online.

(Being Russian also means Gaijin has seriously fucked with and amped up the flight models of the Russian planes and has made them almost indestructible...which I think is terribly amusing.) 

Anyhoo...I find it loads of fun to swoop down on unsuspecting noobs and shred them to pieces with .50 cals and cannon fire.

What's not to like?

Actually, I also admit I am not a very good WarThunder player, and I get shredded and flamed more often than not by mouthy punk kids from all around the world.

One needs an updated rig and high-speed intardnets to play this game, though.  My shitty DSL can barely keep up, and you'll need a decent video card and a good processor to take advantage of the stunning graphics.

If I wasn't such a cheap bastard, I'd get a Comcast or Verizon intardnets connection or whatever the fuck is out there that is faster and make my wife and kids and me happy and no longer have lag problems and stuff.

But apparently, my family's happiness is not of paramount importance to me.

I know.

I suck as a father, husband, and provider.

So...in conclusion...if you play and you wanna team up and blast commies outta the sky, look for WalterZoomie or leave a note in comments and we'll wreck some fools.

Or not. 

Tally-ho motherfuckers!

A Song For Eric...

Yes.  I know.  Welcome to last week.

I've been busy.

Anyhoo...so our buddy Eric Holder almost vapor-locked?

Lol.

Got me to thinkin'...

With apologies to Bonnie Raitt...

Rainy night, you’re all alone
Sittin' there waitin' for the launch of the drone
 
Fever turns to cold, cold sweat
Thinkin' about things you ain't done yet
 
Tell us now, we’ve got to know, do you feel the shame?
Do you just light up at the thought of the game?
 
Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin' up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's plain justice sneakin' up on you
 
Nowhere on earth for your ass to hide
Once karma comes sneakin' up on your blindside
And you might as well try to stop the rain
Or stand in the tracks of a runaway train
 
You just can't fight it when a thing is meant to be
What comes around goes around, to put it simply
 
Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin’ up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's real justice sneakin' up on you

Bringing It

My take on a vintage anti-Bolshevik poster...

Saul Alinsky would be so very proud of me.

Maybe.

By Request...

...from a UK reader.

The original art (above) was a government-produced guilt-trip against rear-echelon pogues, old fucks, and service-dodging window-lickers who had little to no interest in marching headlong straight into massed German Spandau machinegun fire during World War One.

The cowards...

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Talk is cheap.  That's all I hear or read from you.  Why don't you lead the assault?  I am tired of your keyboard 'leadership.' I shall ignore people like you from this point forward.  Dick.  Hurry up and die."

I will be leading no assaults because I am a man of peace...like Gandhi or Mandela.  

I am also a pussy.

And I'm busy...

Taunt me further and I will bludgeon you with my Teddy bear. 

For My Pals In Connecticut...

In response to this...

...I offer you this.

Here's a version that is more printer friendly and you won't use so much of your expensive ink.  Feel the love...

I hope I have been helpful.

If not, I apologize.

Apps To Solve Problems

I am sorry.

NetFlix "House Of Cards" A Must-See...

Indeed...

An extremely well-done mini-series.

The second season is available now.

Political intrigue and skullduggery at its finest.

The sleaze is exquisite.

I imagine the real thing is infinitely worse.

You will want to shower after viewing.

Netflix here.

It beats the hell outta network and cable TV, neither of which do I watch any more. 

TJ Thugs O'Vomit!

I apologize.

We all know by now about O'Vomit's remark.

Yes...it was an off-the-cuff moment, and the douche-nozzle was trying to look cool and tough for the Frog President...but at the same time it was also a telling Freudian comment.

Everybody with a functioning brain gets it.

When it happened, the circumstances got me to thinking about a few things.

O'Vomit at a place of reverence like Monticello is just plain wrong.  I mean, just think of how many brilliant ideas...ideas O'Vomit despises with every molecule of his being...were developed and took root there.

The fact that Frog President Hollande would visit Monticello is no surprise to me, because my long-addled brain somehow remembered that Jefferson lived several years in France and was reportedly quite popular there.

In fact, Jefferson and Ben Franklin partied like rock stars while in France...swilling booze and banging whores and making it rain all whilst trying to convince the Frogs that they should probably try to not kill each other off in their revolution and to give us money and guns and other high-minded stuff.

Yep...those two could multi-task like motherfuckers!

Then I thought about the comparisons between O'Vomit and Jefferson.

And I laughed heartily to myself.

When one stops to ponder further on the matter, has an original, deep, compelling, world-altering thought ever spewed forth from O'Vomit's filthy man-pleaser?

I think not.

It has been nothing but third-grade, second-hand, socialist psycho-babble treason.

Actually, when I really stop to think about it...why in the fuck would Obama want to go to Monticello (or even be allowed to go there) in the first place?

Seems to me Chicago is the place he ought to be...

By Request...

By request of a reader who is probably also a hatering hate-monger who hates...

I would never come up with something like this on my own 'cuz it's wrong and rayciss and terroristic and hurtful.

I am sorry.

Let's Dance!

I am sorry.

 ***Now with identifyers!***

Wow!

-Zoomie Tunes graphic

-a piece of my domestic terrorist art

1-TSA nut-grabbers

2-Manuel Ramos, one of the cops who murdered Kelly Thomas

3-Janet Yellen

4-Stalin

5-Jeremiah Wright

6-TSA kiddie fondlers

7-Al Sharpton

8-Ho Chi Minh

9-Trotsky

10-TSA perverts

11-Rahm Emanuel

12-Ovomit

13-Cass Sunstein

14-Ben Bernanke

15-Hispanic dudes not playing nice

16-Tim Geitner and Ovomit

17-Ovomit and Susan Rice

18-Eric Holder

19-Jose Guerena

20-checkpoint

21-DHS

22-Karl Marx

23-Waco

24-Lon T. Horiuchi, government goon sniper at Ruby Ridge

25-Janet Reno

26-Janet Napolitano

27-Trayvon Martin

28-Ovomit

29-TSA copping a feel

30-Michelle Ovomit

31-Mao

32-New Black Panther dickheads

33-Kathleen Sebelius

34-TSA

35-Michael Bloomberg

36-Benghazi terrorist attack victim Chris Stevens

37-Jay Carney

38-Jerry Brown III

39-Nancy Pelosi

40-Supreme Court Justices

41-Jesse Jackson

42-checkpoint

43-cops who beat Kelly Thomas to death, Jay Cicinelli and Manuel Ramos

44-John Kerry

45-Shrillary Clinton

46-cabin where rogue cop Chris Dorner was incinerated

47-Bill Ayers

48-truck shot to hell by cops who thought it was Dorner’s truck…but it wasn’t

49-Leon Panetta

50-militarized cops with drone

51-Ovomit

52-Che Guevara

53-Jose Guerena’s bloodstained rifle

54-nice doggie

55-Saul Alinsky

56-TSA coloring book to calm the kiddies after they are raped

57-cops wanting to go home safely after breaking woman’s leg

58-Ovomit

59-Muslim-American CAIR dudes and dudettes

60-Randy Weaver

61-John Boehner

62-Pol Pot

63-Joe Biden

64-Valerie Jarrett and Ovomit

65-Ray LaHood

66-Chuck Schumer

67-Boston cops looking for Marathon bombers

68-Waco

69-SWAT attacking Jose Guerena’s home

70-DHS MRAP

71-Ovomit’s cabinet

72-Lenin

73-Benghazi terror attack bloody hand prints

74-Bill Clinton

75-Kelly Thomas

76-John McCain

77-checkpoint

78-Mitch McConnell

79-Paul Ryan

80-TSA fucksticks

81-DHS MRAP

82-DHS fat-body goon

83-Chris Christie

84-David Axelrod

85-cop macing peaceful Occupy hippies like it’s cool

86-Fidel Castro

87-domesticated terrorist’s sign

88-George Soros

89-Eric Cantor

90-art

91-Michael Lawlor

92-TSA anal probers

93-Robert Gates

94-Ovomit as a Soviet soldier

95-Stamp Act agitprop

96-my middle finger

97-old glory

### 

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  What does this mean?  What's the purpose of this, and why did you make this stoopid film-strip thingy?  Is this a hit-list?  If so, you are gonna be SWATted real soon I bet, so please hurry up and die already...and put it on You-Tubes!"

No...it's not a hit-list, dummies...but I guess it IS a list.

Sorta.

A list of people, places, and things that piss me off.

By no means is it all-inclusive.

I have been batting around this idea for a couple of years.

When I first heard Metallica's "Devil's Dance," I really liked it because it made me want to break shit and I thought I could make a crappy video with all the stuff I hate about what's going on with my once great and free nation.

But first, I used my Metallica inspiration and I made this cartoonish and piss-poor bumper sticker graphic item.

 

I bet Lars wants to kick my ass.

And sue me...

That's what I think.

Anyhoo...in conclusion, I do not want harm to come to any of the assholes in this video.

I would simply like them and their silly ideas to just go away from me and my country and leave me alone.

Or don't, and maybe...one day...we will dance!

Won't that be festive?