Monday, May 31, 2010

Part 17- My Humongous Astronomical 2010 Indy 500 Blog Mess: The Night Before The Race

Well…the roar is over. That’s what the clichéd douches in the media always say after the Indianapolis 500 is run and everything’s quiet.

I don’t know why I said it.

Anyways…this will be kinda like part of my Indy 500 wrap-up report.

The last couple of days have been fun and exciting and Africa Hot.

The last two days have also been a good example of poor parenting and fatherhood.

See…I took both of my disgruntled teen-aged sons to Camp ‘n’ Brew down on Georgetown Road to observe the debauchery of Night-Before-The-Race festivities.

We didn’t leave there until well after 1:30am race day morning.

I am a bad dad.

My sons were treated to many observances of full frontal mature female breast assembly displays.

During all this, I stood calmly and observantly off in the distance…close enough to intervene if threatening shenanigans ensued, but far enough away that I would not interfere with my sons’ enjoyment of the proceedings.

One time during the evening, my sons were in line at the official Camp ‘n’ Brew Porta John.

They were chatting up a couple of inebriated young ladies when I strolled upon the scene.

I asked my sons if they were behaving themselves, and one of the drunken hussies spoke up and said, “Are you their dad?”

I replied in the affirmative.

Then she said, “They are so cute and nice and polite. They are behaving like perfect gentlemen. You’ve done a good job raising them.”

I said, “Thanks. They’d better behave, or I’ll rip them a new asshole!”

It made me feel somewhat good that even a stumbling slobbering drunk had noticed my somewhat successful attempt at child rearing.

(A note for all you young and inexperienced parents: I have found that the frequent threats and infrequent applications of bodily personal violence against one’s own children are effective in this department.)

Your mileage may vary, of course.

Raise your brats the way you see fit.

At this point, I was getting TIRED from the draft beer I was drinking, so I rounded up my two lads and we stumbled back to our base of operations to get ready for my Christmas…race day at the Indy 500!

1 comment:

  1. :) As always, entertaining. Glad you spent some time with us, and we'll see you next year!



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