Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Part 5- My Humongous Astronomical 2010 Indy 500 Blog Mess: Rehash

Seeing as there's nothing to do because the track isn't open yet, and seeing as there are some new folks who may not know what the hell is going on here, and seeing as I am reaching so far for something to say and report that I have dislocated a shoulder, I thought now might be a good time to explain a few things.

Or not...

Who is Walter Zoomie?

Maybe the following will help explain...

Sometimes, when I'm walking through the pits acting like a bigshot, I hear little youths on the other side of the fence asking each other who I am and if I am truly as big of a shot as I appear to be.

I am hoping one of them will work up the nerve to ask me for an autograph, because when/if it happens, I will be able to relive a historic and real open wheel Indy racing moment.

I will recount for you now that moment.

Way back in the 1960's, my old man was a reporter/photographer for the big daily newspaper here. He also stooged for Bobby Unser and the Vita-Fresh team. How Dad managed to do both of these unrelated activities at the same time and not get fired from the newspaper, I'll never know!

(Stooged means you hang out with a real Indy racing team and do stuff for no pay like fetch tires and motor oil and cold beer for them. Usually, you have to be really cool and know how to keep your mouth shut about secret and unsavory activities to be a stooge for a race team.)

Anyhoo...One fine May practice day after the track was closed, Dad was back in the old wooden garage area, horsing around and having cold beers with his racin' buddies. Back then, a chain link fence butted right up against the garage doors, and it was a place where many enthusiastic fans would gather to get autographs.

Apparently, one youth mistook my crew-cut haired dad for a real open wheel Indy racing driver.

This youth asked my dad for an autograph.

My father readily agreed to the youth's request, and signed Walter Zoomie on a scrap of paper, or something!

Yes. My dad was cool.

Now you know more than you ever thought you would know.


I can't help but think that somewhere out there is a middle aged or older man who has a treasured scrap of paper in his autograph collection with the now infamous name Walter Zoomie on it!

I would like to sign a youth's real Indy racing item in the same manner, but it would not make me as cool as my dad.

That's what I think.

What is Walter Zoomie's World?

It all started many years ago at TrackForum.com.

Soon after my father died in 2002, I started publishing his vintage racing photos on the intardnets...as a tribute to him.

Then, I decided to start immersing myself in the Indy 500 as he might have done, but with my own personal slant to the entire situation.

Unlike my father, I was able to write ridiculous and satirical stories about auto racing because I wasn't "on the job" like he was when he was a reporter and photographer.

I wasn't getting paid, I didn't have a boss, and I answered to no one.

I could do whatever I wanted.

I originally posted my silly drivel at TrackForum, and a couple of years later I decided to also create a blog site so I could cuss more and not get banned.

What I do every year is cover the month of May and the Indy 500 from a demented fan’s perspective. I get a bronze badge, which allows me unfettered access to the furthest reaches and bowels of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

I post jaw-dropping pictures and stunning commentary, and I highly encourage my readers to ask questions and make comments. I will answer questions as quickly as possible…as long as I have the strength.

In addition to my auto racing ramblings, my blog site also includes many of my late father's writings and photos, and writings of my own which have nothing to do with auto racing.

Alcohol and coffee often fuel my fertilized imagination. I haven't figured out yet which one produces the better writer. Maybe neither one.

Who's to say? Certainly not me.

I guess I should leave THAT for my valued readers to decide.

Why should we care?

You don't have to if you don't want to.

It's supposed to be fun, but if you don't like it, that's cool too.

1 comment:

  1. Zoomie great stuff as always miss seeing your ugly ass at Ball Memorial. Have a ice cold drink for me and keep posting the good stuff from the track.


Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.