Here are some dramatic images I’ve taken recently at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and my accompanying ridiculous comments.
This is a close-up and intimate shot of the backup of the Penske racer to be driven by Wilbur Powers in this year’s Indy 500 Speed Contest.
I have to get real close to take a shot like this, and if you’ll notice, the crew is giving me the evil eye.
They are one step away from stomping a new mud hole in my lower extremities, because they probably think I’m a spy for Chip Ganassi.
Or something.
They really don’t have anything to worry about, though, because in real life I’m sorta like a Penske employee.
Maybe.
And, I am loyal to a fault, so, I would never betray my caring employer.
Pretty much.
Speaking of Wilbur Powers, here he is giving a hard-hitting interview to ReVersus broadcast legend Jack Aroot.
(This image was provided to me by one of my spies, and, seeing as I am loyal and stuff, I can’t reveal my spy’s name.)
Anyhoo…if you look closely, you will see me in the background conversing with true and real Indy racing insiders.
This fact almost makes me a legendary real and fast and shiny Indy racing insider as well.
Almost.
But, seeing as my pathetic, scrawny, white, and pasty visage has been seen by untold millions on TV now, I feel like I’ve be legitimized.
I’ve been on TV.
I am whole and complete now.
This is Tony Kanaan’s Frankincense car from earlier this week.
It is abhorrent.
If you look closely, you will see it is two different cars SuperGlued and duct-taped together to form one complete Indy racing machine.
See…Tony’s original ride performed as if it were a tub of excrement.
So…Tony strong-armed his teammate Hideki Mutoh out of his backup car, and had the crack Andretti/Green crew cobble up something a little more faster and better.
The car will make a prudent visit to the paint booth before race day.
Anything else would be improper.
By the way, Tony Kanaan is my pick to win the race this year.
He will always be my pick until he finally wins it.
He is due, and he better hurry the hell up and win, because I want to pick somebody else next year.
Sometimes, a certain thing catches my crossed eyes, so I take a picture of it.
This is a picture for the gear heads.
In this picture, you will see stacks of gears…probably transmission gears, carefully stacked in matched sets and zip-tied together.
Also, please find the torque wrench, and some other kind of spanner, which I have no idea what it is.
I thought this picture was cool.
That’s why I’m showing it to you now.
Please enjoy this picture.
Here we see Tom Scheckter’s rig.
Tom is the son of 1979 Formula One champion Jody Scheckter, who is kindly helping to sponsor his son’s sled with staggering amounts of funds derived from the profits of his Laverstoke Park Farm.
Laverstoke Park Farm is sorta like a hippie commune type farm in England where organic meat and veggies are made with no preservatives or chemicals and junk, except this hippie commune spends alarming amounts of their capital on real and fast Indy cars!
Those are my kind of hippies!
Here is a jaw-dropping shot of Oral Servia’s rig.
I’m including it because it is badass!
This is a close-up and intimate shot of the backup of the Penske racer to be driven by Wilbur Powers in this year’s Indy 500 Speed Contest.
I have to get real close to take a shot like this, and if you’ll notice, the crew is giving me the evil eye.
They are one step away from stomping a new mud hole in my lower extremities, because they probably think I’m a spy for Chip Ganassi.
Or something.
They really don’t have anything to worry about, though, because in real life I’m sorta like a Penske employee.
Maybe.
And, I am loyal to a fault, so, I would never betray my caring employer.
Pretty much.
Speaking of Wilbur Powers, here he is giving a hard-hitting interview to ReVersus broadcast legend Jack Aroot.
(This image was provided to me by one of my spies, and, seeing as I am loyal and stuff, I can’t reveal my spy’s name.)
Anyhoo…if you look closely, you will see me in the background conversing with true and real Indy racing insiders.
This fact almost makes me a legendary real and fast and shiny Indy racing insider as well.
Almost.
But, seeing as my pathetic, scrawny, white, and pasty visage has been seen by untold millions on TV now, I feel like I’ve be legitimized.
I’ve been on TV.
I am whole and complete now.
__________
This is Tony Kanaan’s Frankincense car from earlier this week.
It is abhorrent.
If you look closely, you will see it is two different cars SuperGlued and duct-taped together to form one complete Indy racing machine.
See…Tony’s original ride performed as if it were a tub of excrement.
So…Tony strong-armed his teammate Hideki Mutoh out of his backup car, and had the crack Andretti/Green crew cobble up something a little more faster and better.
The car will make a prudent visit to the paint booth before race day.
Anything else would be improper.
By the way, Tony Kanaan is my pick to win the race this year.
He will always be my pick until he finally wins it.
He is due, and he better hurry the hell up and win, because I want to pick somebody else next year.
__________
Sometimes, a certain thing catches my crossed eyes, so I take a picture of it.
This is a picture for the gear heads.
In this picture, you will see stacks of gears…probably transmission gears, carefully stacked in matched sets and zip-tied together.
Also, please find the torque wrench, and some other kind of spanner, which I have no idea what it is.
I thought this picture was cool.
That’s why I’m showing it to you now.
Please enjoy this picture.
__________
Here we see Tom Scheckter’s rig.
Tom is the son of 1979 Formula One champion Jody Scheckter, who is kindly helping to sponsor his son’s sled with staggering amounts of funds derived from the profits of his Laverstoke Park Farm.
Laverstoke Park Farm is sorta like a hippie commune type farm in England where organic meat and veggies are made with no preservatives or chemicals and junk, except this hippie commune spends alarming amounts of their capital on real and fast Indy cars!
Those are my kind of hippies!
__________
Here is a jaw-dropping shot of Oral Servia’s rig.
I’m including it because it is badass!
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