Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Part 27-My 2008 Magnificent Colossal Indy 500 Photo Blog Thing: North America Spy Image Interpretation...

With all this down-time and rain and stuff, I figured right about now would be a good time to break out the super-secret satellite spy equipment to see who is doing what across this beautiful planet of ours.

This is North America.

The dots you see are not the political campaign tour stops of Barack Hussein Osama or Shrillary Klinton or the Die Hard movie star John McClain.


The dots you see are the last 100 persons who have clicked on my foolishness here on the intardwebs.

The above strategic image tells me many things, the most important of which is that way too many people are wasting way too much corporate resources and time reading light-hearted real Indy racing-related banter on the intardnet when they should be producing results and profits for their employers to make the shareholders smile.

Is it any wonder the Chinese are kicking our ass?

By the way...I have lived in the state of Indiana all my life, and I have never heard of the town of Bippus, Indiana. Bippus sounds funny and a little dirty. Apparently, Bippus is in Huntington County near Fort Wayne or Huntington, or something.

I imagine Bippus is a farming community, which is always a good thing. Farming and farmers are cool, because I like to eat.

I just hope the farmers of Bippus aren't growing food just so we can burn it in our cars and trucks. Burning our food for fuel doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

Hello Bippus! Thanks for coming!

I also extend a hearty howdy-do to our northern neighbors...the Canadians from Canada.

Toronto, Ontario has clicked recently. Thanks, Toronto!

Sorry about that time back in 1813 when US soldiers ran amok in a heinous display of raping and pillaging and burning during a 5-day liberty call. Bad, bad undisciplined Americans!

Toronto got some major payback, though, because they stole a professional baseball and hockey team from us, so I guess we're even, or something.

Toronto used to have ChampCar's Steelback Grand Prix of Toronto (formerly known as Molson Indy Toronto), but now they don't have either, so I imagine Toronto is kinda mad now.

Tony George will probably bring his series to Toronto soon, so that should make things all better and Torontoians won't have to get angry and seethe with rage.

Brampton, Ontario has also stopped by for a visit.

Hello Brampton! Nice to see you.

Brampton, Ontario had some American auto factories like Ford and Chrysler and AMC.

If Brampton was responsible for the Gremlin and Pacer, I may have to rethink my friendship with this Canadian city.

Anyhoo...the auto factories are probably all gone now, because everybody wants Japanese cars and the evil Unions wanted freakin' EVERYTHING, so I imagine Brampton and Detroit are like sister cities....ghosts towns of the Rust Belt.


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Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

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