Saturday, May 3, 2008

Part 2-My 2008 Magnificent Colossal Indy 500 Photo Blog Thing: The Plan

I thought this would be a good time to explain to you newcomers how I operate.

What I will be doing is covering the month of May and the Indy 500 from a demented fan’s perspective. I have a badge, which allows me unfettered access to the furthest reaches and bowels of IMS.

I will post here daily with jaw-dropping pictures and stunning commentary. Simultaneously, I will post at TrackForum. At both places, you are highly encouraged to ask questions and make comments. I will answer your questions as quickly as possible…as long as I have the strength. not forget to click on the images here. In doing so, you will get to see the pictures in their full-sized and intended glory!

Here, I have some top-secret spy satellite technology, which allows me to track visitors’ locations and comment on their history and ancestry. The only way you can get a micro-dot on my map is to click on my blog site thingy here. You cannot get a map micro-dot clicking on TrackForum. My apologies.

In addition to my usual Kodak Instamatic camera, I will be equipped this year with another powerful piece of photographic gear. It is an antique Ricoh KR-10 fitted with an auto-winder and a huge go-to-hell Kiron 70-210mm zoom lens. The unit looks a little something like this, only bigger and more better.

I suggest Google for more information on this if you are interested.

I will also be equipped with massive amounts of cold beer.

Thusly equipped, I will be able to see what is in Chip Ganassi’s pockets, or the size of a young lady’s thong.

The track opens tomorrow. If you see me there, please don’t hesitate to slap me upside my fat head and say hello. Don’t be afraid or shy. You won’t be bothering me. I am not famous. I am nobody. I am just a fan with cameras and intardnet access. I am on vacation. I don’t have a deadline. I do what I want. We can share beers and tell lies about stuff. It will be fun. If I see you wearing a Zoomie shirt, I’ll take your picture and try to make you famous unless you have a face that would make a freight train jump the tracks. That would be unfortunate.

See you trackside!

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Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.