A Tour Through The United Kingdom (continued)
Salisbury, Wiltshire is another UK location showing interest in light-hearted and real Indy racing related banter! I welcome you, Salisbury, Wiltshire, to my little piece of intardnets tomfoolery. It is my sincere hope that you enjoy your stay!
Salisbury, Wiltshire is famous for many things.
They have a neat and clean copy of the Magnum Charta, which is an earth-shattering document from the 13th century. They made this copy with the world’s first Xerox machine. It was powered by coal.
Anyhoo…the Magnum Charta kinda spelled out groovy stuff like liberty and rights and other stuff, which all free and cool nations enjoy today.
Also near Salisbury, Wiltshire is Stonedhenge, which is a prehistoric collection of crudely cut limestone pillars and blocks clumsily arrayed in kinda like a tumbled down circle, or something.
Stonedhenge might be something like a clock or a sundial, or, it may be a device aliens used as a type of homing beacon to direct invasion fleets to our planet.
I bet it was just something the prehistoric Saliburians threw together as a joke one evening after an all-night pub-crawl to make future peoples wonder what the hell they were doing!
That’s what I think.
Salisbury, Wiltshire is also renown for the fact that William Golding was a teacher there for a while. Golding wrote Lord of the Flies, which is a cool book about kids getting marooned on a desert island with no adults around and running amok and killing pigs and each other with spears.
This book always appealed to me for some reason. Maybe it’s because I’m demented and sick. Who’s to say? Certainly not me.
The guy who played C3PO in Star Wars, Anthony Daniels, is from Salisbury, Wiltshire.
Not a big deal, I guess, unless you are a Star Wars geek. I mean, I’m sure he made a boat-load of money, but I don’t think it’s really all that cool to limp around in a gilded plastic spaceman outfit which is in need of repair, constantly having arguments with another robot who squeaks and pops like an insane Hoover vacuum cleaner on LSD.
Legend has it that Churchill and Eisenhower met at a pub in Salisbury, Wiltshire to discuss plans for D-Day…proving once again that some of the best ideas are born of talking BS in a pub over a beer.
Apparently, Salisbury, Wiltshire has an alarming number of pubs. This fact makes me want to visit even more. I don’t imagine there is anything more cooler on the face of the planet than true and real British/English pubs.
There’s this one pub in Salisbury, Wiltshire called The Haunch of Venison. That’s a far-out name for a pub. The Brits name their pubs more better than we do. You won’t see a Fred’s Bar in England, I bet.
Anyhoo… The Haunch of Venison is an ancient pub from the 1300s, and way back a long time ago a card cheater got his hand lopped off for not playing by the rules. They still have the dried up and crusty and crispy hand on display at the pub!
You’d better play nice while in Salisbury, Wiltshire, apparently.
Don’t worry, Salisbury, Wiltshire! If I ever come to visit, I will respect your customs and courtesies.
I am a good guest.
Pretty much.
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Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.
Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.
Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.
To know me is to love me.
Or something.
Maybe.