Sunday, February 24, 2013

How Fitting...

My beloved wife found a deck of playing cards whilst tidying up the lads' bedroom today.

When she saw this, she brought the deck to me and asked if they were mine.

I said, "No, but I can find a use for them!"

I await my drone strike.

Friday, February 22, 2013

My Shipment OF WIN Just Arrived!

I told you people I buy my own crap for quality control purposes.

Maybe you will believe me when I tell you something next time.

The shitty iPhone picture doesn't do these bumper stickers justice.

They are slicker than snot on a brass door knob and will most definitely bring joy to the huddled masses who are yearning to talk some subversive smack.

I KNOW This Is Right!

...and Uncle Joe can fucking blow me!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Is This Wrong? Volume Twelve: Domesticated Terrorist-Mobile

If it is, I don't want to be right.

This fine enterprising gentleman...and well-known extremist gun-nutter and hate-filled racist hating hater who hates...took the time to download my shitty "Impeach O'Vomit" bumper sticker and then plaster it all over his high-end European sport utility vehicle.

He is also a Harley dude.  

He is a dichotomy wrapped in a riddle...with guns.

Kinda like the Jungian/Duality of Man thing, except completely different.

Or something.


Anyhoo...if any of you want to show me your shit plastered with my shit, email me some photos and I'll make you even more famouser than you already are.

Hell.  Why not?  The authorities are already in-route.

Might as well have some fun with your final acts of defiance.

My email is in my Blogger profile.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Butler County Ohio Sheriff Salivates Over Possibility Of Whacking Dorner With Drone

I heard this today on the radio while truckin' in Ohio and damn near drove off the road with some of the things this "good" sheriff of Butler County, Ohio, Richard K. Jones, said.

I threw this video together real quick (in case the original audio got scrubbed) so that you could judge for yourself, and I would love to hear your opinions on this.

To be clear, I think Dorner was a whack-job looney tunes douche-bag, and I defend nothing he did, but the good sheriff of Butler County seems fine and dandy with being the judge, jury, and executioner, and I have a BIG fucking problem with his general attitude.

Listen to what he says and how he says it.



Jones also apparently has a hard-on for obtaining surplus military gear for his department.

So...I guess it's not so amazing after all.

Peace officer?  Bullshit.
Posse Comitatus?  Fuck that. 

There Is Beauty In Simplicity

After watching every second of the State of the Union Address last night, I was duly inspired.

Get it while you can.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Some Thoughts On The Marines’ Bolt-less M1 Garands At O’Vomit’s Inauguration

I watched that video with some interest. 

Yes...the bolts were removed. 

Yes...those Jug-haids are fucking angry and in a foul mood.

How do I know this?

Well...seeing as I once dabbled in all things Marine Corps-ish, and seeing as I once owned an M1 Garand, I think I am uniquely qualified to comment on such matters.

If you don’t agree, then you may kindly go fuck yourself.

I’m pretty sure those boys were 8th and I boys.

Yes…they are real Marines with probably more than a couple of combat deployments, but that unit is all about pomp and ceremony and close order drill.

They polish their fucking canteen cups, for gawds sake.

They know how to march and drill with a rifle.  It is second nature to them, and they DO NOT fuck it up.


But…if you watch that video, they look like a receiving barracks platoon on the first day of boot camp...thinking only about "finger-banging Susie Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties."

Cover and alignment is horrific, with the individual squads snaking all over the fucking street.

Rifles are bouncing and canted in every direction.

They look like shit.

These boys are fucking pissed off.

It’s been my experience that Marines are actually a pretty bright bunch (maybe it’s ‘cuz I’m so fucking dumb in comparison) and have excellent bullshit detectors and are devious and sneaky and always somehow manage to get their message out.

They screwed this shit up on purpose, and that’s why I believe they removed the bolts from their weapons and fucked up the parade by sliming down the boulevard looking like first phase shit-bags.

They de-milled their Garands on their own…not on the orders of the criminal and treasonous O’Vomit cabal.

I think they did it as a silent protest to the fucked up bullshit O’Vomit and his progressive minions are doing to their beloved God, Country, and Corps.

Gays…women in combat…the sacking of various generals…the list goes on and on.  You know what I’m talking about.

The emasculation and destruction of a nation…

What better way to illustrate this than by marching with disabled rifles and looking like they were "back on the block?"

It’s a first as far as I know.  Marines have always drilled with fully functional weapons.

I don’t think it’s a conspiracy thing.

It’s a Marine thing, and I like to think I kinda know a little bit about that.

Maybe not though, as I was a lowly shit-bag reservist communications puke…and therefore inconsequential and incredibly boring.

Semper Fi any damned way... 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Is This Wrong? Volume Eleven: Zoomie And O'Vomit At The Range

If it is wrong, I don't give a fuck and I will delete nothing.

Anyhoo...O'Vomit didn't dress for the weather, and the dumb motherfucker was shivering so much he never got on target and he went "unk relay." *

Stupid bastard...

*"Unk relay" means unqualified relay, which is a Marine Corps boot-camp term used for the non-shooting fucks who couldn't qualify with the M-16 the first go-around and had to go back for remedial training.

It was considered a shameful disgrace back in my day for a boot to go "unk relay."

Thought you should know...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Is This Wrong? Volume Ten...and a "Caption This" Thingy

If so, I am sorry and I will make changes.

In fact, suggest some alternate captions and I'll consider plugging that shit in if it is clever enough.

In case you couldn't tell, that fine gentleman hamming it up and thumbing his nose in front of O'Vomit is Uncle Joe Stalin.

Make sense now?

Friday, February 8, 2013

Is This Wrong? Volume Nine.

If so, I am sorry and somebody needs to pipe up and tell me so I can stop this juvenile foolishness.

Is This Wrong? Volume Eight.

I hope not.
But if so...sorry 'bout that, and I will delete it.

Is This Wrong? Volume Seven.

If so, I am sorry know the rest by now if you've been paying attention.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

This Is Guaranteed To Make You Hurl!

I already know this is wrong.

I am sorry. 

Cartoon by Al of my heroes.

I think I'm done now.


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Is This Wrong? Volume Six.

If so, I am sorry and you'd better tell me pretty quick so I can delete it because I didn't make it but I found it on the intardwebs somewhere and I heard that the criminal O'Vomit cabal will send out stacks of heavily armed goons to make sure it doesn't get PhotoChopped because:
This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Well, fuck me.

I thought free speech and political satire were cool in this country.

Apparently not.

What a dope I am.

I hope whoever made the above picture has his or her affairs in order.

I bet the gulags are pretty cold this time of year. 


OK...I'm gonna come correct.  I created that abortion of an image above.

I created this one too.

Come and get me you arrogant motherfuckers!