Thursday, December 17, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
I Loves My Job!
I apologize for all the cursing...both in the video and here.
I am a vile heathen.
...but you knew this already.
So anyway...there I am...minding my own damned business jammin' to some groovy tunes and bein' cool...barreling (safely) down an Ohio mountain when my eagle eyes spot a large obstruction in my lane.
Some Buckeye asshole has decided, "This is as good a place as any, Virgil. Go ahead and heave great grandma's filthy, stained, Pall Mall stench-ridden Barca-Lounger out of the truck."
It sits in my lane at the convergence of two interstates.
I look to see if I can swerve to the left lane around the large object, but I have cars there.
No dice...I'm gonna have to swerve right into the merge ramp of the other interstate...or blast what looks to be a heavy object with my truck.
Homie don't blast nuthin' if homie don't got to.
I head and mirror check to my right.
Homie don't gotta blast nuthin.'
Victory!
I am a stone-cold truck drivin' badass!
Right?
Easy there, Sparky.
The day ain't over...
I know.
We truck drivers talk to ourselves.
A lot.
We are insane.
And yes...I know most cops don't monitor CB radio any more.
It was worth a shot.
I am a vile heathen.
...but you knew this already.
So anyway...there I am...minding my own damned business jammin' to some groovy tunes and bein' cool...barreling (safely) down an Ohio mountain when my eagle eyes spot a large obstruction in my lane.
Some Buckeye asshole has decided, "This is as good a place as any, Virgil. Go ahead and heave great grandma's filthy, stained, Pall Mall stench-ridden Barca-Lounger out of the truck."
It sits in my lane at the convergence of two interstates.
I look to see if I can swerve to the left lane around the large object, but I have cars there.
No dice...I'm gonna have to swerve right into the merge ramp of the other interstate...or blast what looks to be a heavy object with my truck.
Homie don't blast nuthin' if homie don't got to.
I head and mirror check to my right.
Homie don't gotta blast nuthin.'
Victory!
I am a stone-cold truck drivin' badass!
Right?
Easy there, Sparky.
The day ain't over...
I know.
We truck drivers talk to ourselves.
A lot.
We are insane.
And yes...I know most cops don't monitor CB radio any more.
It was worth a shot.
__________
Here's a blowout that happened just six days prior the the one above!
About the only notable thing in this video is the Buckeye stinkbug walking across the hood after I get it pulled over.
I know.
I suck.
The good news? I now have eight new drive tires and two new steer tires.
Damn thing drives like a Cadillac now.
The boss loves me.
Maybe.
The good news? I now have eight new drive tires and two new steer tires.
Damn thing drives like a Cadillac now.
The boss loves me.
Maybe.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Way To Go Ohio
Evening rush hour on Cincinnati's north side.
The Chevy Cavalier and the Scion (?) in front of me in the middle lane are doing 55mph in a 65mph zone.
I see their stupidity in plenty of time, signal, check my mirrors, and move over to the right lane.
Then THIS happens!
686 confirmed Ohio graveyard-dead traffic fatalities in 2015 (so far).
Gee. I wonder why?
686 dead folks is a lot of dead folks.
Think about it.
The idiot didn't.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
American Butchery For Profit
I've said it before.
I am a very flawed believer. I curse. I covet. I lust. I kinda suck sometimes.
Anybody who knows me will tell you I am the furthest thing from being a "bible thumper."
Back when I was a virile young man, I considered it part of being a "man" to attempt to pollinate every willing female I would encounter. (not that there were many of those, BTW)
And if she got pregnant, I don't recall feeling any other real compunction to do anything other than "fix" the "problem" through an abortion.
Yes. I was young and dumb and I was a heathen, but then something happened that change my worldview entirely.
My oldest sister and her husband got pregnant with their first child.
There were problems. When it came time for the birth, the problems multiplied and it wasn't looking good. I went to the hospital and saw the concern and worry in everyone's eyes. It wasn't known if mother and child would make it.
The medical experts pulled out all the stops and made every effort to make sure child and mother lived.
They DID live. Thankfully. That child has grown to be an intelligent successful young woman with a family of her own.
This incident made me change my mind about abortion. If so many talented people are willing to go to such great lengths to save innocent and helpless human life, then human life must be a very special thing and it should be protected.
In the back of my mind I think I always knew this was true, but I think I needed a kick in the ass to confirm it.
What was the difference between my sister's difficult pregnancy and others which end up in abortion?
From what I can tell, it is pretty much just a matter of want or desire.
If one wants the baby, then the baby is human and it will be taken care of properly.
If one doesn't want the baby, then it is nothing more than an inconvenient blob to be discarded.
Some say abortion is a choice or an option or a form of birth control or a women's health issue.
Birth control is condoms, the pill, early withdrawal, abstinence, or any other of the various contraceptive forms. Once the sperm fertilizes the egg, it is a human life. It's not a chicken or an elephant or a cat.
I've told my kids that if they are man or woman enough to stick it in or allow it to be stuck in unprotected, then they are man or woman enough to take responsibility for any human life they create.
We don't kill babies in this family.
__________
The Center For Medical Progress has been releasing jaw-dropping undercover videos from Planned Parenthood.
Watch them. All of them.
If this is your idea of "choice," then you chose wrong.
This is pure evil. If you disagree...and I don't care who you are...family, friend, whatever...you can unfriend me and be gone from my life forever.
I want nothing to do with you.
Watch the video.
All of it.
That casserole dish was full of human arms, legs, eyes, fingers, toes, and lungs. You are a soulless ghoul if you think they didn't belong to a human being...a baby.
These satanic bastards act like it's cool, and treat these slaughtered innocents as if their dismembered bodies are used auto parts to be bought and sold.
Never before have I been so angered and saddened that something so inherently perverse can be taking place in a country I once so dearly loved.
Innocent and defenseless human life no longer has any value in this country. People are more upset about a gawd damned lion being poached.
There will be a horrible reckoning.
Someday. Somehow.
I suppose abortion should be legal, safe, and available.
It should also be a rarity.
I'm pretty dumb, and I don't have all the answers.
But I'm sure what I've seen in these videos ain't it...
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
A Dick Move: Interstate Merge fAle
I know. Where the fuck I been at? Not much posting. Just dumb truck videos and "slogans."
Thanks for asking.
I'm fine.
Busy working, and generally fed up with everything.
Comes a point in a man's life when he's said just about all he can say.
Haven't even had the dash cam installed until two days ago. I figured the displays of idiocy were getting kinda dull and I got tired of fucking with it.
Then this little gem popped up.
Un-fucking-believable what people do.
I'm wearing my ass out trying to stay alert and safe and (somewhat) courteous.
Y'all are makin' it hard on a brother.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Friday, April 3, 2015
For You Long-Suffering Cincinnati Reds Fans...
I recently got my grubby little paws on this vintage scorecard.
I thought it looked cool, and that I could do something nefarious with it.
Seeing as I drive through Cincinnati twice a day and am treated with the same old, "This year's team is going to the World Series!" bullshit, I came up with this treatment.
Every year it's the same shit.
The Reds...or the Bengals...are going to be national champions!
That's why I've quit being a sports fan.
It is pointless.
Silly stoopid buckeyes.
I am sorry.
Free Pete Rose!
I thought it looked cool, and that I could do something nefarious with it.
Seeing as I drive through Cincinnati twice a day and am treated with the same old, "This year's team is going to the World Series!" bullshit, I came up with this treatment.
Every year it's the same shit.
The Reds...or the Bengals...are going to be national champions!
That's why I've quit being a sports fan.
It is pointless.
Silly stoopid buckeyes.
I am sorry.
Free Pete Rose!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Friday, March 6, 2015
Gimme Back My Bullets
With apologies to Lynyrd Skynyrd, but somehow I don't think they'd mind.
Had this idea yesterday as I was blasting down the interstate dodging buckeye morons and jammin' to old shit.
I told you people before that I listen to a lot of music while driving and sometimes I get zoned out and think of stuff like the talk of banning certain kinds of ammo by our federal overlords.
(I bet that makes you feel real safe as a member of the motoring public.)
Anyhoo...the image kinda sucks, and is typical of my shitty and cartoonish bullshit.
Another half-way decent concept...poorly executed.
I am sorry.
Really.
_______________________
Life is so strange when its changin', yes indeedWell I've seen the hard times and the pressure's been on meBut I keep on workin' like the workin' man doAnd I've got my act together, gonna walk all over you- [Chorus]Gimme back my bulletsPut 'em back where they belongAin't foolin' around 'cause I done had my funAin't gonna see no more damage doneGimme back my bullets
- Sweet talkin' people done ran me out of townAnd I drank enough whiskey to float a battleship aroundBut I'm leavin' this game one step ahead of youAnd you will not hear me cry 'cause I do not sing the blues
- Gimme back my bulletsPut 'em back where they belongAin't foolin' around 'cause I done had my funAin't gonna see no more damage doneGimme back, gimme back my bulletsI'll put 'em back where they belong
- Been up and down since I turned seventeenWell I've been on top, and then it seems I lost my dreamBut I got it back, I'm feelin' better everydayTell all those pencil pushers, better get out of my way
- Gimme back my bulletsPut 'em back where they belongAin't foolin' around 'cause I done had my funAin't gonna see no more damage doneGimme back, gimme back my bulletsOh put 'em back where they belongGive me back my bullets
Songwriters: VAN ZANT, RONNIE / ROSSINGTON, GARY ROBERT
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Zen And The Art Of Truck Driving: A Video
Dreadfully boring experimental dash-cam video of me driving my semi-truck in snowy conditions on a lonesome interstate.
No crashes. Nothing exciting happens, which is just the way I like it. Just me chillin' and driving as if I had some sense.
Shot with Midland XTC280 HD camera using a RAM suction cup windshield mount.
Video haphazardly slapped together using Windoze Movie Maker.
I am sorry.
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