Monday, September 14, 2015

I Loves My Job!

I apologize for all the cursing...both in the video and here.

I am a vile heathen.

...but you knew this already.

So anyway...there I am...minding my own damned business jammin' to some groovy tunes and bein' cool...barreling (safely) down an Ohio mountain when my eagle eyes spot a large obstruction in my lane.

Some Buckeye asshole has decided, "This is as good a place as any, Virgil.  Go ahead and heave great grandma's filthy, stained, Pall Mall stench-ridden Barca-Lounger out of the truck."

It sits in my lane at the convergence of two interstates.

I look to see if I can swerve to the left lane around the large object, but I have cars there.

No dice...I'm gonna have to swerve right into the merge ramp of the other interstate...or blast what looks to be a heavy object with my truck.

Homie don't blast nuthin' if homie don't got to.

I head and mirror check to my right.

Homie don't gotta blast nuthin.'


I am a stone-cold truck drivin' badass!


Easy there, Sparky.

The day ain't over...

I know.

We truck drivers talk to ourselves.

A lot.

We are insane.

And yes...I know most cops don't monitor CB radio any more.

It was worth a shot.


Here's a blowout that happened just six days prior the the one above!

About the only notable thing in this video is the Buckeye stinkbug walking across the hood after I get it pulled over.

I know.

I suck.

The good news?  I now have eight new drive tires and two new steer tires.

Damn thing drives like a Cadillac now. 

The boss loves me.



  1. Zoomie sounds a lot like Wirecutter when he's talking to himself.

  2. Is that the I-74 to I-275 merge west of Cincy? Bad place for that to happen!

    1. You betcher ass it is, and you are correct...a real shitty place for road debris. Imagine if this had been any other day but a Sunday afternoon.....

  3. {From the memory banks}
    I was driving up Central Parkway (bout 7:00 in the evening) in Cincy (ca 2003-4) and find, just before the turn onto Ludlow, a chest freezer sitting on the middle of the northbound lane.
    I figure this is a problem, so being a good citizen, I pull over and try to drag the freezer off to the side. It's not moving. So I continue on my merry way as I know there is a cop station up the road. I pull in there and tell the duty officer about the freezer in the road. He blankly stare at me for a few moments... and finally asks "what do you want me to do about it?" I reply that it would be a good idea to move the freezer so they can "protect and serve."
    I am laughed at.
    The the duty officer points at the door and says "that's the way out."
    Three hours later we are driving home.
    There is a chest freezer in the middle of the northbound lane of central parkway.
    Thus began my disgust with most cops.

  4. You're probably the only one that got it:-).

    The title was I my first thought when I saw it.

    See some people pay attention to your blog.

    Stay safe zoomie

  5. It's about time for another post, you lazy rayssist, not because I enjoy reading your stuff, just to let us know you're still kicking up shit......... ;)

  6. Just wondering if you were alive. If you are, Merry Christmas. ;-)
    Miss Violet

    1. Thanks. All is good as can be expected anyways. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

  7. Damn Zoomie, your command of The Peoples English is almost as good as mine.

    When I heard that fucking tire blow I was instantly reminded why I don't follow Big Rigs anymore. I've seen what those big chunks of rubber can do to a car before and it ain't pretty.
    If you ever get out to Vancouver for any reason you have a steak dinner waiting, I would love to sit and bullshit with you for a while.

    1. is prudent to get around and away from big rigs as soon as possible. I appreciate it also, as nothing pisses me off more than folks who linger near me. Makes me nervous...

      And yes...I am a vile fellow.

      Thanks for the beef offer. You are a great American.


Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.