Monday, September 14, 2015

I Loves My Job!

I apologize for all the cursing...both in the video and here.

 I am a vile heathen.

 ...but you knew this already.

So anyway...there I am...minding my own damned business jammin' to some groovy tunes and bein' cool...barreling (safely) down an Ohio mountain when my eagle eyes spot a large obstruction in my lane.

Some Buckeye asshole has decided, "This is as good a place as any, Virgil.  Go ahead and heave great grandma's filthy, stained, Pall Mall stench-ridden Barca-Lounger out of the truck."

It sits in my lane at the convergence of two interstates.

I look to see if I can swerve to the left lane around the large object, but I have cars there.

No dice...I'm gonna have to swerve right into the merge ramp of the other interstate...or blast what looks to be a heavy object with my truck.

 Homie don't blast nuthin' if homie don't got to.

 I head and mirror check to my right.

 Homie don't gotta blast nuthin.'

 Victory!

 I am a stone-cold truck drivin' badass!

Right?

Easy there, Sparky.

 The day ain't over...






I know.

We truck drivers talk to ourselves.

 A lot.

 We are insane.

 And yes...I know most cops don't monitor CB radio any more.

 It was worth a shot.

__________ 


Here's a blowout that happened just six days prior the the one above!

About the only notable thing in this video is the Buckeye stinkbug walking across the hood after I get it pulled over.

I know.

I suck.

The good news?  I now have eight new drive tires and two new steer tires.

Damn thing drives like a Cadillac now. 

 The boss loves me.

 Maybe.



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13 comments:

  1. angrymikeSeptember 14, 2015 at 10:47 AM

    Gotta love O-H-I-O......... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. wirecutterSeptember 14, 2015 at 12:11 PM

    Zoomie sounds a lot like Wirecutter when he's talking to himself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ReivernurseSeptember 16, 2015 at 8:40 AM

    Is that the I-74 to I-275 merge west of Cincy? Bad place for that to happen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walter ZoomieSeptember 16, 2015 at 8:47 AM

      You betcher ass it is, and you are correct...a real shitty place for road debris. Imagine if this had been any other day but a Sunday afternoon.....

      Delete
  4. Just A ChemistSeptember 16, 2015 at 12:22 PM

    {From the memory banks}
    I was driving up Central Parkway (bout 7:00 in the evening) in Cincy (ca 2003-4) and find, just before the turn onto Ludlow, a chest freezer sitting on the middle of the northbound lane.
    I figure this is a problem, so being a good citizen, I pull over and try to drag the freezer off to the side. It's not moving. So I continue on my merry way as I know there is a cop station up the road. I pull in there and tell the duty officer about the freezer in the road. He blankly stare at me for a few moments... and finally asks "what do you want me to do about it?" I reply that it would be a good idea to move the freezer so they can "protect and serve."
    I am laughed at.
    The the duty officer points at the door and says "that's the way out."
    Three hours later we are driving home.
    There is a chest freezer in the middle of the northbound lane of central parkway.
    Thus began my disgust with most cops.

    ReplyDelete
  5. IrishSeptember 29, 2015 at 10:41 PM

    You're probably the only one that got it:-).

    The title was I my first thought when I saw it.

    See some people pay attention to your blog.

    Stay safe zoomie

    ReplyDelete
  6. angrymikeNovember 1, 2015 at 11:22 PM

    It's about time for another post, you lazy rayssist, not because I enjoy reading your stuff, just to let us know you're still kicking up shit......... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. TDecember 16, 2015 at 7:26 PM

    Just wondering if you were alive. If you are, Merry Christmas. ;-)
    Miss Violet

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walter ZoomieDecember 17, 2015 at 9:56 AM

      Thanks. All is well...well...as good as can be expected anyways. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

      Delete
  8. PhilFebruary 12, 2016 at 3:35 PM

    Damn Zoomie, your command of The Peoples English is almost as good as mine.

    When I heard that fucking tire blow I was instantly reminded why I don't follow Big Rigs anymore. I've seen what those big chunks of rubber can do to a car before and it ain't pretty.
    If you ever get out to Vancouver for any reason you have a steak dinner waiting, I would love to sit and bullshit with you for a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walter ZoomieFebruary 12, 2016 at 6:42 PM

      Yes...it is prudent to get around and away from big rigs as soon as possible. I appreciate it also, as nothing pisses me off more than folks who linger near me. Makes me nervous...

      And yes...I am a vile fellow.

      Thanks for the beef offer. You are a great American.

      Delete

Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.

Maybe.

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