Monday, June 3, 2013

Shaving Part Two...sorta

I'm thinking about trying the safety razor thing.

I started shaving with a Trac II.  That's what I always used and was accustomed to. 

When my boys started shaving, I was somehow "forced" to switch to another blade...this one with three blades in the head.

WTF?  Three blades? I finally got somewhat used to the three-blade shit, but yesterday I had to use a different one because I was out of the three blade heads.

Well...fuck me if this latest one didn't have like five or seven or twenty fucking blades in it!

What the fuck am I gonna do?  Bush-hog the back forty?

Make a multitude of musloid snuff videos for YouTubes?

No, motherfuckers.  I'm shaving.

Just shaving!

The head on this monstrosity is so wide it covers the entire area between my nose and my upper lip, so I can't even shave the area directly under my nostril openings without slicing my nose clean off and requiring the services of goonish government agents to save me from bleeding out in my almost nearly completed new bathroom.

I think that's it.

The hair and whisker removal industry is in cahoots with Marxist/lib/socialists to destroy this country.

It's a commie plot to make anybody who shaves dependent on government and make us weak and gay.

That settles it.  

I'm definitely going to try the safety razor.

Cue Lee Greenwood.

God bless Amurica...