Saturday, December 28, 2013

"Drivers Pulled Over For Good Driving" ...Ummm...Yes. Fuck You!

Dammit.  A decent morning ruined by a stoopid fucking local news story that made me wanna puke.

Christ on crutch!  

Look at these two assholes!

Stanley, the fruity citizen, thinks it's just fabulous to be pulled over for no reason and given a coupon for fucking Starbucks or Pantera Bread by shaved-head, donut-assaulting Occifer Schutzstaffel.

My comment at the news site using my real name ('cuz I ain't skeered, nor do I give a fuck anymore):

BS. This is a fishing expedition for the cops. Pull over somebody for no reason and let's see what we can find and let's see what this sheep of a citizen will reveal to us because he/she has no friggin' idea what freedom is all about.

I know.

I am a bad commenter who is also a hating hate-mongering hater who hates.

Or something...

Also from the story:

24-Hour News 8 partner The Hendricks Co. Flyer reports there were many different responses, with most drivers wondering what they had done wrong.

Most of these drivers prolly thought it was all cool and junk and they were happy that they got free shit and that the cops are keeping them "safe."

I know what my response would have been.

I woulda been fucking pissed off that I was stopped and delayed by the Stasi in order that they could go fishing.

Gawddamn I am sick of the motherfucking blind and oblivious dick-wads who claim to be Americans in this country...and the cops who are willing to do this retarded shit.

Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Glad Healthcare Tidings From O'Vomit

Received these two bits of health insurance info in the mail within the last week.

From what I understand, there is a lot of this going around.

Hells bells.  My 80 year old in-laws have had a Cadillac healthare plan for 30 years through the utility company from which he retired.  They received notice right before Thanksgiving that their plan was cancelled because it was "substandard."

"Substandard" because the old plan didn't include birth control, abortion services, or some other shit a senior citizen would never use.


Thanks bunches, O' fucking lying shit bag commie fuck-stain asshole.

Merry Christmas To My Terrorist Friends

The Candy Cane of Death®

Been busier than a three-peckered billy goat in an ass-kickin' contest...or something like that...but I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas in spite of everything.

I'm REALLY not feeling it this year, and I find as I get older I feel it less and less.

I wonder why?

It's good I have my children and their friends around, though.  

Their young, bright, shining, smiling, hopeful, happy faces (the poor dumb bastards) help to keep me outta the doldrums. are a few popular favorite images from Christmases past to liven things up a bit around here.

Satanic, demon-possessed gingerbread warrior, equipped with candy cane sword and cinnamon roll shield, prepares to open up a 55 gallon drum of whup-ass on Nazi storm troopers.  Artwork done many years ago by my son Willie.  It hangs on our Christmas tree!

My siblings and I at Santa Claus Land, late 1960s...

My kids at the same place 40 years later...

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Saturday Is Request Day Art? WTF?

What am I to you people?  

Some kinda performing monkey that jumps whenever you fucking call?

Go fuck yourselves with a rusty farm implement.

Actually, I'm feeling all smug and sure of myself after doing a pad, rotor, and tire slap on the family truckster.

And, I chugged a big ol' beer on an empty stomach so now I'm loopy and feeling creative.

So here you go.


Feel the terror and the murder and the mayhem and the thuggery!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Every Day Is "Don't Fuck With Veterans Day"

Random thoughts and happenings banging around my brain housing group the last few weeks:

I was on the Marine-tard-net (USMC message board) recently where folks were commenting on police behaving badly.

This message board is a place where I'd say half the members are government statists or supporters of same, the other half are 3% patriots, and all are Marine Corps or Navy veterans.

One comment really stuck with me.  I will paraphrase as follows:

"Law enforcement really has a problem when older white veterans begin to question their methods and tactics."


Which brings me to this.

I'm sure we all remember the other day when the story broke about the New Mexico cops who pretty much ass-raped a dude for blowing through a stop sign.

The story made me think about stuff...

These pigs musta sedated this dude or knocked him the fuck out and chained him down, 'cuz there ain't no fucking way I'd put up with that shit.

I woulda chewed through my restraints and clawed a fool's neck open once the butt play began.

But I'm a tuff guy like that...

A commenter at one of the news sites reporting the story said something to the effect of:

"This shit has been happening for 30 years or more (to brown and black skinned people).  And now...when it starts happening with regularity to white folks, you motherfuckers lose your fucking minds and are ready to kit up and kick ass.  Welcome to the party, pal.  Where you been at?"

This is valid, I think.

We didn't really give a fuck as long as the string of abuses was happening to somebody else.


Last night I was explaining to my co-worker in Cincinnati that a trailer turn signal malfunction was why I was late.

I had to get that shit fixed because I don't like not having indicators even though most assholes on the road don't pay attention to them any way.

My Ohio friend said, "Yeah...and the cops don't like it much either."

I replied, "Fuck tha police."

The Buckeye replied, "OH...we gonna go all NWA up in here?"

I said, "Fuck yes we are.  You know...back in the day we all thought NWA were awful and terrible and scary and wrong and hurtful.  Now that white guys are getting fucked with too, we know now NWA was right all along." 

Whoulda thunk it?


Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Art? Lol! WTF? Get It?

I think even Mike Vandenberg can see the humour in this last one.  

Feel free to use any of these as your heart desires.  Hell, I stole some of the major design elements, so what do I care if you use them?  

Sue me.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Art And Shit...

I know.

Both of my fans are asking, "Where the fuck you been, asshole?"

I've been busy working mega-hours so that the Free Shit Army can get theirs.

Had a colonoscopy today...not because I'm having any problems...but because I'm ancient and 50 and I wanna grow even older and watch my kids kick some ass, and I also wanted to get this shit done before O'Vomit completely destroys our once best-in-the-world healthcare system and I had to do it myself with a coat hanger and my iPhone camera in my garage.

Or something...

Anyhoo...the Night Of A Thousand Waterfalls was interesting, and the test came up good because I studied hard.

My innards are nice and pink and error-free and look just like the insides of a brand new garden hose, apparently, so I'm good to go for another 50 years.


The above graphic was inspired by the words of commenter Lt. Greyman, NVA over at Western Rifle Shooters, and it rocked so hard I had to steal it and use it somehow.

I think that maybe if you set your screen background to black and use this as your wallpaper it might look kinda cool.

Or not.

As usual, you can use it in any way you want, and you can make suggestions for possible future edit considerations.

Or T-shirts... 

Of various kinds...

It don't confront me none.

Fuck Obama, BTW...

Yes.  I know I suck and I am a FOCK and all I am doing is looking to defraud you and take your money and maybe get sued for something a little further on down the road.


What's maybe a little bit interesting is that in the last month or so I have been taking care of some preventative and/or neglected medical matters because of the looming destruction of the American healthcare industry.

Eye exam, complete physical, and the now successfully completed colonoscopy. 

During all these interactions with members of the medical community, I have made it a point to bring up O'Vomit Care and to ask how it is impacting their profession.

In every instance...from receptionists, nurses, doctors, and surgeons...I have heard nothing but hate and discontent.

Tons of new paperwork, layoffs, downsizing, decreased revenue...

These folks are fucking pissed, and not one of them has acted offended when I talk my usual treason and sedition. 

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Do It Yourself

My local po-po's report from FacePlant (FaceBook):

BP13-1876. On Monday 8/26/2013 at around 8:30 am the Beech Grove Police received a report of an attack on a 16 year old female in the rear of the 700 block of Grovewood Drive near I-465. 

The suspect is described as a white male in his 20's with pale skin, short light colored hair and acne scars on his face. The suspect was last seen wearing a baggy gray shirt and baggy blue jean shorts. 

Anyone with information on this case can call Beech Grove Police Crimetips at 317-782-4950. You may also email us at, message us on Facebook or Twitter at @BGPDCrimeTips and as always you may remain anonymous.

Not in my neighborhood, motherfucker. 

This asshole meth-head tried to rape this girl.  He tried to get her pants off and she pretty much kicked his ass and fought him off.

This suspect has also been identified as the same guy who stalked a couple of young girls in my area, and is thought to be living in the woods near my home.

Click to enlarge.  Or not...

I have suggested a huntin' party in those woods on FacePlant and got no response.

A neighbor's property butts up against the creek at the 4th Ave. woods. He said he saw a guy fitting the suspect's description peeking over his fence. 

This neighbor also said there was a hobo tent in these woods behind his property. 

This neighbor says he called BGPD and that BGPD gaffed him off and didn't respond to the call to investigate the tent in the woods. 

So...this neighbor, another man from the neighborhood, and I decided to investigate the tent for ourselves seeing as BGPD had better things to do. 

The tent was unoccupied and looked as if it had not had an occupant for some time. 

Our little recon mission came up empty, but at least we did SOMETHING...

Thanks for nothing, Beech Grove Police Department. 

Keep writing those speeding tickets.

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Big fucking deal.  You and your hill-billy neighbors got tipsy and brave on Busch Light, kitted yourselves up like a Marine fire team on Guadalcanal, and took a stumble through the woods.  You are delusional, and you should have let the professionals handle it...and they would have if they thought it was important enough.    Besides, those girls were asking for it anyways.  They were wearing shorts in the summertime.  The whores. are a retard for posting a picture of your neighborhood.  Now the government goons know where you live and can send in the drones.  OPSEC OPSEC OPSEC!  Idiot.  You suck.  Please hurry up and die already!"

OK...number one...fuck off.  

Number two...the fucking cops apparently aren't going to do anything.  I have a teen daughter, and my neighbor has a young wife and a little daughter.  My neighbors and I are not the types to sit around and wait for the cavalry to save us.  

Number three...I am in serious don't-give-a-fuck mode when it comes to government goons and whether or not they KNOW me. 

I am certain they KNOW me, and, like I stated...I don't-give-a-fuck!

Have a nice day.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Fun With Texting

A little background:

I went to using a smart-phone a little less than a year ago.

Before that, I had a cheap and embarrassing pay-as-you-go Tracfone which really sucked and was on its last legs.

My new job pretty much required I have something modern with texting, e-mail, and intardnets capability, so I switched to an iPhone.

I started getting all kinds of wrong number phone calls and texts from folks I didn't know trying to contact somebody who must have had my same number at one time.

I tried being nice and told them they had the wrong guy.

When that didn't work, I tried the asshole approach, and that failed miserably also.

These people weren't getting the message, but I kept getting theirs, and their methods of communicating and the words they chose and the names they used indicated to me that they may be people of color and of a religion other than Christianity or Judaism and possibly from a foreign country.

I got another message last night.

I decided to get playful.

We'll see where this goes.

It could be fun and interesting.

Or not.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


Syria.  Cops threatening to arrest church folks for feeding the hungry.  Egypt.  Feral ghetto beasts running amok.  Corrupt, treasonous, unaccountable government at all levels from both parties.  Militarized, steroid-soaked civilian "law enforcement" literally getting away with murder.  Drones.  Surveillance.

I could go on and on.

Ad nauseum.

Better put on your war face.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

My Take On The Recent Flying Death Truck Of Satan Incident: Update! Now With Exclusive Forensic Video Evidence! Holy Shit!

The following is pure, unadulterated speculation.

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  You weren't there.  You don't know shit from apple butter!  Shut up and die quickly!"

I know.

I suck.


As a professional big rig steering wheel holder of nearly 20 years, something doesn't seem right about this story.

I pass through this exact area a couple of times a day, five days a week on my way to and from Cincinnati.

I am very familiar with this interstate and this interchange.

The US 421/I-74 interchange itself has a huge geographical footprint.  The junction is updated, modern, and pretty much idiot-proofed with long, wide, sweeping entrance and exit ramps due to the needs of the nearby Honda assembly plant.

General overview of the launch pad location...

To fuck up at this location in broad daylight under the ideal conditions present would take extreme talent.

The truck driver who crashed said he was forced off the road by a car that was moving into his lane.

I will assume the truck was in the right lane of I-74 and the car was moving from the left lane to the right on the semi truck, because the opposite scenario would have forced the semi into the middle grassy median, and would physically make no sense with the evidence on hand and where the crash happened.

Anyhoo…I can believe a car may have forced the semi off the road.  I see stoopid shit like that all the time.

But what happened afterwards doesn’t add up.

Click to enlarge if you want.  Or not...

If you look at my graphic you’ll see a large grassy area to the right of the travel lanes of I-74 at the junction.  I’d guesstimate that area to be about 200 yards.  Maybe more.  And at the end of that grassy area is an uphill embankment to US421.

Now watch the video of the crash and the flight of Satan’s Death Truck.

That is a conventional semi tractor with a huge sleeper and, from what I understand, a flatbed load of fucking bricks.  I’ll speculate further and guess the combined weight of that bastard was in excess of 60,000 lbs., and that mother-fucker gets major air!

How gawdamned fast do you suppose Billy Big-Rigger had to be going to take 200+ yards of grassy area, up that embankment, through a guardrail, fly over damn-near two lanes of US421, and through another guardrail before landing and exploding?

Cocksucker had to be moving at an enormous rate to carry that much momentum through all of that without scrubbing off major speed.

So…why so fast?

Stuck throttle/cruise control?  Maybe, but I ain’t buying it.  Nobody has claimed this happened.

That shit doesn’t happen as often as people think, but if it does happen, there’s all kinds of shit an attentive driver can do to make things right, so I ain’t buying that excuse either.

I had a cruise control unexplainably start accelerating on me once.  All I had to do was tap the brake or switch the cruise control off and all was right with the world.

Worst case, one can just shut the engine off.

Brakes failed?   Run-away truck?

Sell it to the Air Force, Mayonnaise.  Sell it to the Air Force.   

This area ain’t the fucking Rocky Mountains.  It’s as flat as a pancake, so this guy didn’t overheat his brakes.  Besides, lots of times when brakes fail on big rigs, they lock-the-fuck-up and one comes to a screeching-ass halt most ricky-tick.  I’ve had this happen to me at least a half dozen times.

Here’s what I think is the most likely scenario.

This super-trucker had his head up his ass and was going too fast, woke up, got into a situation way over his head, and tried to “save it” by accelerating and driving out of his predicament.

Or, maybe the driver was a chivalrous white knight of the highway and chose to sacrifice himself (and his son who was in the sleeper) in order to save the life of the idiot car driver who was coming over on him.


All I have to say is this.

Drive defensively.

Sometimes, it may be better to tap that car back into its lane.

If you are too inattentive, self-absorbed, discourteous, and ignorant to operate a motor vehicle safely, I personally will not sacrifice myself and drive off the road to save your stupid ass.

I am bigger and heavier than you, and I will win.  I will do what I can to keep from killing you (this I achieve by driving defensively, maintaining a buffer zone, and being painfully alert at all times), but I will not put myself in unnecessary danger because of your imbecility.

If it comes right down to you or me...guess what?

You are going in the ditch.

Not me. 

Cleansing the gene pool…and I wanna go home at the end of my run.

No.  I am not chivalrous.

I suck.

__________ I drove through the area Sunday afternoon and took this shitty video to get some kind of idea where our hero went off the road and to see if my guesstimations of what happened were anywhere near close to being right.

Regarding my initial speculative analysis, I think I did OK.

Yes...I sound like a ridge-runner, and The Beatles "Loser" playing in the background is frighteningly ironic and funny all at the same time!

Judging by the tire tracks, he went off the road right about where I thought.

I saw no skid marks on the pavement.

The tire tracks in the grass were relatively straight leading up to the embankment, and he nosed that rig between the light pole and the rock pile.

Those are big as cantalopes...not gravel as some have said.

The grassy area where old boy splashed down was all greasy and burned up.  I understand the rig overturned when it landed, but I can't verify that as fact.

I still think our boy had his head firmly and decidedly burrowed up his own ass at the time of this crash.

He went spastic, but at least he was spectacular.

Anyhoo...I find it interesting to look at bits and pieces of evidence and try to figure out what may have happened.

I am a pseudo-genius and I should have been a forensic pathologist.

I am like Quincy, or some shit...

With guns.

And anger.



Final update...

I have a neighbor who has a friend who was driving behind our hero when he had his little off-course excursion.

This witness pulled over and assisted the truck driver and his son, and spoke with the cops about what happened.

This witness said our hero flat out missed the curve on the interstate, and that there were no other cars around him.

In other words, our hero was not forced off the road.

The asshole fell asleep.

That's what I think.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Does This Graphic Concept Suck?

It's 1:30 a.m. and I threw this together real quick after pulling a 12-hour shift and I'm feeling like I'm stoned or hallucinating or something because my chronic sinus infection I got going on is kicking my ass.

I swear to all that is good and pure and holy...I feel like my head's gonna explode into a giant ball of foul-smelling pus.

There's a graphic concept for ya.

Anyhoo...what y'all think of my latest cartoonish crap?

As usual, the image is a print screen grab-type-thang I stole from a video 'cuz I thought it was cool and then I made it my own.


It's an idea I'm thinking about running with and maybe using photos I actually take with my own camera and manipulating them and making them more original.

Sound like a plan...or should I fuck off?

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Do-It-Yourself Agitation Propaganda: Now With More Betterer Updates! Wow!

I was bumping around the intardnets a couple of days ago and found a cool vintage image from the dirty commie hippies at the Peace Corps from way back in olden times.

The original Peace Corpse advert

I thought to myself, "That's cool.  I should be able to do something nefarious with that and take all the credit and look like an important artist."

Or something...

See...I rarely have an original thought.  What I do is steal someone else's shit and change it around a little and then claim it for myself and call it satire and think I'm making legally protected political free speech and then I assume I'm all clever and stuff and immune from prosecution.

I'm such a dope.

Additionally...I think the above graphic is kinda funny and ironic in that I can use the exact same text the dirty commie hippies used and apply it to my domesticated terrorist agenda and it is still relevent.

Maybe... is a blank version so that if you are computer graphics savvy you can fill in some text or even use some cuss words if you want.

It don't confront me none. 

I bet you are feeling the love right about now.

Aren't you?

Tweaked and beautified for your viewing pleasure.

For you do-it-yourselfers...

Thursday, July 25, 2013

All The News That Is News. Or Something. Maybe.

I don't normally link to current events news stories, but for some reason I can't help myself this morning as I clear the cobwebs from my head and down my first cup of mud.

Read this and tell me what jumps out at you.

If you are as demented and angry as I am, you found this story somewhat intriguing.  Tattooed neo-Nazi freaks whack a kiddie fiddler and his old lady and get pinched.

OK.  Great.  I love that story.

But look closer.

The bodies were discovered Monday when another person seeking to have his car fixed came to the home, saw the door wide open and called police. A deputy found the bodies, but investigators had to wait more than an hour to begin examining the scene because several Chihuahuas threatened emergency workers as they checked to see if the victims had a pulse. Animal control officers were called and removed about 18 dogs, several cats and a half-dozen chickens, authorities said.

What the fuck?

Threatened by Chihuahuas?

Call out the SWAT team.

What a bunch of pussies.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Understanding: A Work Of Fiction

At approximately 1am, Pete pulled his tractor trailer into his plant's expansive loading dock area.

It had been a long twelve hour day dodging idiots on the highway, and Pete was in no mood for games. 

As Pete entered the dock area, he scanned the docks assigned to his shuttle trailers, (104 to 111), and saw the only clear open dock was 104.  

Pete backed into door 104 and got lined up.  Then he got out of the truck in order to open the trailer doors and make trailer tandem adjustments.

It was at this time that Pete recognized an individual, (who for our purposes we will call Markuss), walking towards him who was saying something to him that he couldn’t hear over the noise of the reefer unit and the truck engine.

Markuss is a dock worker and loader.  He is not a boss, a team-leader, or anybody in any position of authority within the company.

It is probably important to note that Markuss is black.  Pete is white.  Prior to this incident, neither Pete nor Markuss knew each other's names.

Pete noticed Markuss’s body language and overall demeanor and thought to himself that this interaction probably wasn’t going to go well seeing as he had had an unpleasant experience with Markuss six months prior.

Since Pete couldn’t hear what Markuss was saying, Pete loudly said, “What?”

Then, Markuss got close enough for Pete to hear and Markuss told Pete he could not drop his trailer there and that Pete needed to move it to another dock immediately because 104 was “his” dock and it was for full-pallet loading and unloading only.

Markuss's belligerent tone was as if Pete was his employee and Markuss was the boss…that he was in charge and Pete had no say in the matter…sort of a loading dock policeman, if you will.

Pete's bullshit detector and combat antennae were beginning to activate simultaneously.

Pete said, “Says who?  Since when?”

Markuss said something about, “It was in an email today.”

Pete said, “I didn’t get an email.”

Markuss said, “Call your boss.  Move the trailer.”

Pete said, “I’m not calling my boss.  Fuck this noise.  I’ll take the trailer to the back yard and you guys can put it where you want it later.”

At this point, Pete walked away from Markuss, who was still bumping his gums and demanding Pete move the trailer to another dock.

Pete got back into the cab of his truck.

Pete's window was down all the way, and Markuss was standing outside Pete's cab just below his open window.

Pete prepared to start the engine, and Markuss demanded to know Pete's name.

“What’s yo' name?  What’s yo' name?” Markuss barked.

Pete replied, “Don’t worry about my name.”

Then Markus bellowed, “Step out the truck!  Step out the truck!”  

Pete perceived this demand from Markuss as a threat.

Who wouldn't?  A command like that on the street while in a personal vehicle could get somebody hurt.


Pete said, “I’m not getting out of the truck.  I got shit to do.”

Pete started the truck engine, released the brakes, and slowly pulled away from Markuss.

At this point Pete heard Markuss say, “Stupid ass.”

Pete said, “Fuck off!” as he drove away from Markuss.

This ended the encounter.

Or so Pete thought...

As far as Pete was concerned, that was it.

Two grown men with differences of opinion...

No need to go crying to a supervisor.


The next day, Pete got a phone call from the boss asking if there was some kind of problem the prior evening, and that a dock worker had complained (in writing) that he was cussed out by an as-yet-to-be-identified driver. 

Pete's boss asked, "Do you know anything about this?" 

Pete said, "Yes.  I know about it.  It was me.  This asshole thinks he's gonna talk to me like I'm his slave and treat me like shit, and I'm here to tell you nobody is gonna talk to me like that."

Pete's boss understood the situation, but said Pete should refrain from dropping F-bombs to fellow employees at work.

Pete understood also.  

Pete understood a lot of things.

Pete understood that he needs his job to feed his family.

Pete also understood that Markuss got pissed off and offended when the white guy didn't fold like a cheap lawn chair to his attempted ghetto intimidation tactics.

Pete pulled Markuss's punk card, and Markuss went crying to the boss...conveniently leaving out many important details.

(Subsequent conversations with supervisors and team-leads revealed to Pete that everything Markuss stated about supposed dock assignments was complete, unadulterated, manufactured bullshit.)

Pete received a "counseling session" from another boss regarding the entire matter.

Pete was advised to walk away and call a supervisor any time anything like this happens.

Pete was also advised that this wasn't the first time Markuss has pulled this type of shit.

Pete was not shocked to learn of this, and Pete wondered why Markuss was still in the employ of the company if this incident was not Markuss's first rodeo.

Then...Pete remembered all of the shit he understood.

Pete understands a lot of shit.

Pete is a racist asshole.


My goodness!  Those mudflaps would never pass a DOT inspection!