Friday, October 25, 2013

Art And Shit...

I know.

Both of my fans are asking, "Where the fuck you been, asshole?"

I've been busy working mega-hours so that the Free Shit Army can get theirs.

Had a colonoscopy today...not because I'm having any problems...but because I'm ancient and 50 and I wanna grow even older and watch my kids kick some ass, and I also wanted to get this shit done before O'Vomit completely destroys our once best-in-the-world healthcare system and I had to do it myself with a coat hanger and my iPhone camera in my garage.

Or something...

Anyhoo...the Night Of A Thousand Waterfalls was interesting, and the test came up good because I studied hard.

My innards are nice and pink and error-free and look just like the insides of a brand new garden hose, apparently, so I'm good to go for another 50 years.


The above graphic was inspired by the words of commenter Lt. Greyman, NVA over at Western Rifle Shooters, and it rocked so hard I had to steal it and use it somehow.

I think that maybe if you set your screen background to black and use this as your wallpaper it might look kinda cool.

Or not.

As usual, you can use it in any way you want, and you can make suggestions for possible future edit considerations.

Or T-shirts... 

Of various kinds...

It don't confront me none.

Fuck Obama, BTW...

Yes.  I know I suck and I am a FOCK and all I am doing is looking to defraud you and take your money and maybe get sued for something a little further on down the road.


What's maybe a little bit interesting is that in the last month or so I have been taking care of some preventative and/or neglected medical matters because of the looming destruction of the American healthcare industry.

Eye exam, complete physical, and the now successfully completed colonoscopy. 

During all these interactions with members of the medical community, I have made it a point to bring up O'Vomit Care and to ask how it is impacting their profession.

In every instance...from receptionists, nurses, doctors, and surgeons...I have heard nothing but hate and discontent.

Tons of new paperwork, layoffs, downsizing, decreased revenue...

These folks are fucking pissed, and not one of them has acted offended when I talk my usual treason and sedition. 


  1. We are not worthy.


    1. Oh yes you are worthy.

      Your place is the best of all I visit for reader commentary and participation.

  2. Finally. I thought you had strangled your muse or something.....
    Miss Violet

  3. That's pretty cool.

    Well, not the image drawn with the hangar and iPhone camera. ;-)

  4. Glad you are Good for another fifty years there, Zoomie. Perhaps we will share a FEMA camp and we can meet and swap stories over a Government cheese sandwich and water, assuming they feed us. I will be in the NWR. If things go bad (and I assume they will), well I am glad I tickled your muse.

    Ex Gladio Libertas!

  5. You've got TWO FANS?!!

    I'm so jealous!

    Nice fucking job there Zoomie!
    That is one classy graphic dude.

    As for the Colonoscopy, had one earlier this year, a couple polyps, snip snip, good to go.

    Ain't that miserable shit they make ya drink powerful stuff though.
    By the time I was done shittin' my brains out for 8 hours my poor asshole thought I had been wiping with John Wayne toilet paper the whole time, better known as 220 grit wet/dry sandpaper.
    I hope the workload lightens up on ya a bit .

    1. Thanks, and yes. The bowel prep is quite potent.

      It gives new meaning to the term "shit the bed."

      And the shower...

    2. What the heck? Is the C-Scope the "in thing" right now or are we all just that frigging old? (I had the date with the silver stallion last week). And damn is that some nasty stuff... If you can choke that stuff down in an hour like they want, you're as tough as nails.

    3. I chugged that shit down like a frat boy at a kegger party.
      I am a manly man.

  6. Welcome back!
    Missed your deep pontifications over current events. I feel your concern with the reduction of healthcare for us rubes in flyover country. I'm hoping the VA will accommodate my knee replacement before the big cut-backs on us low melanation types.

  7. I have been thinking, where the fuck has zoomie been, for about a month. Good to here your still kicking. It looks awesome, might post it on my blog....... ;-)

  8. Being one of your 2 readers its ok you can tell me,did you enjoy the probing a little bit? Lol Yeah I had one last year. It sucked.No reach around or nothing. Glad your still breathing!

    1. I told them I wanted soft music and candle-light if I was gonna be violated in such a manner.
      Motherfuckers didn't even gimme a kiss afterwards.
      I feel so cheap...

  9. I had one last year, and they gave me something that pretty much knocked me out.
    The day before I had to drink a gallon of this stuff that I mixed from powder, and about an hour after I drank the first glass...........GET OUTTA MY WAY!

    EVERYBODY in the house scheduled their bathroom time around mine.

    And all of the people at the med center I go to are really pissed about 0bamacare. It hasn't impacted them too severely yet, but they're all bracing for next year.

  10. Zoomie: Might I make a request?

    Take Sam's III noose,

    center it, put SIC SEMPER over the top also centered, and then put TYRANNIS under it centered.

    Simple message.

    Make it pretty as you like.

    Let me know what I owe you.

    Gracias, amigo.


    sorry if doubleposted

    1. I threw this together real quick and it sorta blows.

      I am sorry... :(

    2. If you rocked any harder, it would break.

      Me gusta!


  11. Glad the main poop chute is clear and ready for use. Gotta ask, how did you get the Iphone past the little eye? I heard you keep it pretty tight. So, we get another 50 years of ya's? I know I will keep looking ya up for inspiration and a hearty laugh!

  12. I thought your drone strike had finally come. I keep giving them your address. Regards, B.H.O.


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