Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Motorcycle Down!

How I Spent My Summer


A video montage of my summer of trucking.  Great fun!  You won't get the full effect if you watch it on a dinky cell phone screen. I added music because my cursing would not be good for my audience's delicate sensitivities!  Enjoy!

Monday, May 29, 2023

The 2023 Indy 500 and Memorial Day

I didn't go to the race.  I could have had a free Penthouse Paddock seat.  Fuck that.  I listened to the race on the radio.  Cleaned up the charcoal grille.  Fixed a neighbor's flagpole.  Flew the holiday flag...

Heard the Invocation and the Memorial Day line about sacrificing themselves unselfishly and said to no one in particular, "Suckers.  Look at what you died for now."

What a waste...

Semper Fi motherfucker.

My daughter attended her first Indy 500.  She was amazed.  "It's so fucking fast, seeing it in person is incredible.  Watching it on TV is not the same," she said.  

I said, "I told ya.  That's why me and your grandmother and grandfather love(d) it so much."

She has a potty mouth.  She's her dad's daughter.

Ryan Hunter-Reay summed it all up nice and succinctly post-race when he mentioned the total lack of respect out there. 

Lack of respect for each other, the facility, and the tarditions.  From the abominable Jewel-infused National Anthem, the gawd-awful caterwauling of "God Bless America," to the last half of the race...it was a microcosm of the world in which we live.

It's a big reason I don't attend anymore.  People don't know how to behave. "Fuck you.  I'm gonna gets me mines.  Look at me- look at me- look at me!!"

And Roger Penske?  Jesus Christ what a fucking milquetoast.  Got rid of the balloon release because it's not green to do.  Dude bends whichever way the political wind blows.  Next year, he'll probably paint the Vigoda and the race track itself rainbow colors in order to promote tolerance, diversity, and inclusiveness...whatever the fuck THAT means.  
A drag race to the finish will take on an entirely different meaning.

The Big P got another win.  Yay.  Yawn.  Too bad his Teamster Pesky culture of excellence doesn't translate across his other varied and sundry corporate divisions, where barely good enough/competent warm bodies filling positions is peachy keen.

3 red flags?  What the actual fuck?  Horrendous officiating.  Should have finished under yellow.  Green/white/checkers is NASCAR bullshit.  But it's good for the show.  It was eggciting!  Yes...so is Dancing With The Stars.

The snaking?  All the way into pit lane? What is that shit?  Jimmy Bryan would be kicking someone's ass.

Pato O'Ward drove like a total jerkoff, and needs a solid ass-beating.  What a dope.  Drove it like the morons I see daily on the interstate.  "Me me me.  Fuck you."  At least he got a good taste of Indy's wall for his efforts.  Idiot.

I'm glad I didn't go to the race.  Would have made me sad.

Instead, I piddled around in my garden.  The poppies are beautiful.

I watched my flag fluttering in the breeze.  I'll take it down Monday night.  Maybe I'll put it back up on Independence Day...  Lol.

I watched one of my kitties frolic in the sunbeams on the porch.  She's such a sweet cat...

I watched my other kitty watch a squirrel get a drink from his water bowl.  He just watched it, and made no move to attack because he's old and fat and grumpy like me.  He's a good boy.

I hung another two coffee can wren houses in the redbud tree.  Wrens sing a lovely song and make me happy.  I want them near me and in my life.

My happiness is of paramount importance.

Happy Memorial Day.

Sunday, January 29, 2023

What NOT To Do When You Miss Your Exit


First clip: Trying to back up on the shoulder to get to the exit you missed when you don't have the ability to drive in reverse and then you hang your ass out into the travel lanes of an interstate while doing so is ALWAYS a bad idea and a great way to get killed. Good thing I saw it coming, eh? Go to the next exit and do a flip-flop, asshole. You'll live longer that way. Second clip: Retard takes the wrong exit and then decides it'd be cool to swerve onto the shoulder and then cut me off in order to rectify his situation. I just about rectified his rectum with my rig. That woulda been cool...

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Annoyances Both Big And Small


Look...it's not that difficult. Merging traffic must yield to traffic already on the road. Keep right except to pass. Going 30 mph over the flow of traffic is not smart. Even a chill and mellow Harry Chapin song doesn't help sometimes. If driving in the snow terrifies you, stay home. Don't slam on your brakes on snow-covered bridges. It's a good thing I don't apply my rage at idiots to my actual driving and use my rig as a weapon. Dontcha think?

Brake Fire, Wind, Brain Fade