Monday, March 31, 2014

For My Pals In New Mexico...

It has come to my attention that maybe a few of you don't know what the fuck I'm trying to say with this latest cartoonish and shitty image I created.

...and that's OK.  Don't feel dumb.  I'm kinda weird, so sometimes my idiotic crap might not make any sense.

So...what is this red slash through the blue bar all about?'s the "thin blue line"...cops.  You know...the small number of guys and gals who bravely protect all us quivering, terrified, and defenseless masses from the bad guys who want to rape our dogs and kill our women. 

You see these in license plate form or bumper stickers on cop cars and on vehicles owned privately by holster sniffers and badge polishers.

I saw one on a minivan yesterday, and with the gunning down of several folks in Alba-Kracky recently, the whole thing kinda pisses me off.

(Then I remembered this other wonderful story about New Mexico cops.  FUBAR.)

Here in Indy, they wanna add another 500 cops to the street 'cuz the ghetto apes and meth-heads are slaughtering each other wholesale.

...and I'm like, "I don't need it done.  Thanks anyways."

I'll pass.  I neither want nor need a cop on every street corner.

I don't need a cop, (or anyone else), inserting themselves into my day and/or life, because when it happens shit most often goes sideways.  This is a lesson I learned first-hand several years ago when I voluntarily involved cops into my life with (what I thought) was a relatively cut-and-dried and trivial matter.

Never again.

Some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Why you hatin' on cops?  You would be the first to call them if zombies attacked your house.  Hell...your dumb-ass life was saved by two cops when you were a kid.  Hypocrite.  Fuck you and die already!"

Ha!  About 5 years ago, I spoke to (and thanked) one of the two cops who prevented my family from being shot to death by an escaped convict 45 years ago.

Know what he said?

To paraphrase:

"I retired a long time ago, and I'm glad I'm not a cop anymore.  These new guys are fucked up."

He don't need it done either.

Some also might be saying, "Zoomie!  What about the frail old ladies and cuddly small children and kittens who aren't innernets tuff and threatening and angry and capable of defending themselves like you?  Should they be left to the tender mercies of the thugs?  Answer that one, smart-ass!"

Good question.  I am first inclined to think that old ladies and children and kitties should be protected by their men-folk (fathers, older siblings, sons, nephews, cousins, trusted capable neighbors), but that would be sexist dinosaur thinking.  I mean, what if the children and old ladies and kitties don't have any men-folk?  Then what?

Hell.  I dunno.  I'm not very bright.  Who needs a man?  I guess they're fucked.  Call 911...

In far as cops go, am I paintin' with a broad brush?

Motherfuckers, I'm paintin' with a roller.

And it's turbo-charged...

I'm tellin' you good'd better get your shit in one sack and clean up your mess.

The world's a big place, but I'd hate to paint it.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Anybody Play WarThunder?

Zoomie Boyington

I am a closeted fighter pilot.  Have been since I was a kid.  I loves me some WW2 airplanes, and I get aroused at the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin (Packard) engine.

Yes.  I have issues.  Multiple issues.

You knew this.

At the risk of sounding like a computer geek asshole, I admit to playing WarThunder.

WarThunder is a free multi-player online flight-sim game I play from time to time when I grow weary of the mind-numbing treason I see all around me every day.

WarThunder is from a company called Gaijin.

Gaijin is a Russian company...and therefore that is the reason why I use a PC dedicated solely to gaming so that they and Vlad Putin can't spy on me and the important other shit I do online.

(Being Russian also means Gaijin has seriously fucked with and amped up the flight models of the Russian planes and has made them almost indestructible...which I think is terribly amusing.) 

Anyhoo...I find it loads of fun to swoop down on unsuspecting noobs and shred them to pieces with .50 cals and cannon fire.

What's not to like?

Actually, I also admit I am not a very good WarThunder player, and I get shredded and flamed more often than not by mouthy punk kids from all around the world.

One needs an updated rig and high-speed intardnets to play this game, though.  My shitty DSL can barely keep up, and you'll need a decent video card and a good processor to take advantage of the stunning graphics.

If I wasn't such a cheap bastard, I'd get a Comcast or Verizon intardnets connection or whatever the fuck is out there that is faster and make my wife and kids and me happy and no longer have lag problems and stuff.

But apparently, my family's happiness is not of paramount importance to me.

I know.

I suck as a father, husband, and provider. conclusion...if you play and you wanna team up and blast commies outta the sky, look for WalterZoomie or leave a note in comments and we'll wreck some fools.

Or not. 

Tally-ho motherfuckers!

Monday, March 3, 2014

A Song For Eric...

Yes.  I know.  Welcome to last week.

I've been busy. our buddy Eric Holder almost vapor-locked?


Got me to thinkin'...

With apologies to Bonnie Raitt...

Rainy night, you’re all alone
Sittin' there waitin' for the launch of the drone

Fever turns to cold, cold sweat
Thinkin' about things you ain't done yet


Tell us now, we’ve got to know, do you feel the shame?
Do you just light up at the thought of the game?


Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin' up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's plain justice sneakin' up on you


Nowhere on earth for your ass to hide
Once karma comes sneakin' up on your blindside
And you might as well try to stop the rain
Or stand in the tracks of a runaway train


You just can't fight it when a thing is meant to be
What comes around goes around, to put it simply


Don't worry Eric, it ain't nothin' new
That's just karma creepin’ up on you
If your whole world's shakin' and you feel like you do
That's real justice sneakin' up on you

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Bringing It

My take on a vintage anti-Bolshevik poster...

Saul Alinsky would be so very proud of me.