Monday, November 3, 2008

Some Random Firearms Musings...

I’m sorta out of the loop when it comes to modern firearms. I see all kinds of wild looking shit out there, with all sorts of aftermarket thingies hanging off of them…flashlights, lasers, global positioning systems, bottle openers, Kleenex dispensers. I don’t get it. Guess I never will. I don’t like to have a lot of accessories. I’m old. Any weapon I own will not have “rails” on it. “Rails" are something choo-choos run on. Kinda.

I don’t have a problem with people who like to have many various and sundry dark-colored lumps attached to their firearms. All I’m saying is that it’s not my bag, baby!

I think I’d like to have a rifle like the one I used to hump while I was dabbling in all things Marine Corps-ish. Yes. Having an M16A2 service rifle would be cool, because I am very familiar with an M16A2, and familiarity is very important to me when it comes to firearms. And, not to gloat or anything, but shooting an M16A2 was actually something I was consistently good at.

I’ve noticed there are numerous M16-looking rifles out there today…so many that it boggles my mind. Some of them are made by companies I’ve never heard of. My M16 will have been manufactured by Colt, or General Motors. Anything less is suspect in my mind.

Some M16s shoot different sized rounds. I don’t think an M16 should fire anything but a 5.56mm. If your M16 shoots .22 long-rifles or other such pistol ammunition, your M16 is improper, and you should probably have it shredded or trade it in for a more prudent weapon.

My M16, should I ever get one, will not have a laser range finder or a grenade launcher or a satellite dish on it. No. But, it will have a bayonet lug, because bayonets are dark and foreboding and primal. Folks know that, if you are willing to get up close and personal and use a bayonet on a fool and skewer him as if he were a shish-ka-bob, then you are probably just a little bit crazy. Or something. Maybe.

Another rifle I would dearly love to own is an M1 Garand. My uncle has one. He should probably gift it to me, as I am his favorite nephew. Sorta.

Anyhoo…I have had Garand fever ever since I started playing Medal of Honor video games and saw the Band of Brothers TV series. The sight of heavy rates of .30 caliber rifle fire tearing German flesh asunder has stuck with me. I want to do something like that also, except with paper targets. I don’t have a problem with Germans now. They are cool in my book.

If I ever get a Garand, I will not put one of those funky grenade launcher attachments on it and poke a dummy grenade on the end of it, because it looks goofy. M1 Garands do not need accessories, and to do so is improper and imprudent. I will discuss this revolting subject no more.

Also, if I get a Garand, I’m going to need to find me a good friend who is knowledgeable about them and can show me how to field strip it and not get M1 thumb too. That’s one thing that kinda scares me about a Garand. I really don’t want my thumb crushed by the bolt. That would be below average. I guess that’s why the WW2 generation was so tough and cool. They could get their thumbs mangled into bloody pulp by their rifles and still soldier on like it was groovy and stuff.

There are also some handguns I would like to own eventually. I will list them for you now.

1) Ruger SP101: I don’t know why, but this revolver has always appealed to me. Maybe it’s because of its sleek and sexy lines. I know it only holds 5 rounds, and can be had in various calibers, but five rounds should be enough to handle any unpleasant situations unless the living undead should become a problem.

2) Browning High-Power: A classic and historic piece reminiscent of British or Canadian secret Special Forces, or something. Maybe.

3) Glock, or one of the other Plastic Fantastics that today’s youth rave about so much. I’m willing to try some new stuff. Pretty much.

So…those are some of my thoughts about firearms.

Interested readers should feel free to comment.

Happy and safe shooting!


Found this pic recently.
This is me and my big brother, back in olden times.
I'm holding the rabbit carcass.
My big brother is holding the Ithaca M-37 shotgun.
He always got to do the cool shit with Dad.
I got to hold the corpses!

1 comment:

  1. My pre-election AR-15 purchase shall be a proper 5.56 mm linear accelerator.

    You know how to avoid the M1 thumb, Mr. Zoomie. You learned it in Basic.

    The salute.

    Your salute-hand points fingers down, thumb presses the clip in, fingers hold the bolt open. (this could be considered a very sloppy example of the salute-hand, what with the thumb kinda pointing away from the fingers, and all.)

    Once the clip is fully seated, and the bolt is pushing your fingers, letting you know just how eager it is to demonstrate its performance, you show proper respect to the rifle, and quickly throw up a snappy salute to all things gloriously M1 Garand.

    This is not the time to dawdle.

    You will only dawdle once.



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