Sunday, February 5, 2012

CZ75BD Range Report, Review, And Rant

Around Thanksgiving last year I had some birfday card money burning a hole in my pocket, so I decided I wanted another gun to replace all the guns that I lost in that calamitous sub-Saharan tsunami surfing incident I experienced.

What a surprise that was.

Way back several years ago when I bought my Glock23…which is unfortunately gone now…I looked at the fine CZ75 line of handguns, and I found them to be sexy, nice, natural pointers which fit my massive but delicate girlie hands beautifully.

(You all know what big hands mean.  Big gloves.)

A CZ75 would be my next purchase.

So a buddy and I drove all over town to at least six different gun stores, and I couldn’t find anything that really tripped my trigger and didn’t cost a fortune.

I saw one CZ75 in nickel, but everybody knows nickel-plated guns are for pimps, poseurs, and non-tactical pogues…so I said “fuck no.”

Then I said “fuck it” and looked around online.

Then I remembered I had a female intardnet buddy who worked at a gun store called Tomlinsons Shooting Supplies in northern Indiana.


I said female, but don’t go thinking I’m having some kinda sordid online affair with her or sexually harassing her or anything so that I can get free guns or reduced pricing on boom sticks. 

She is happily married, and so am I…and she has red hair and is frightening and gets easily riled and would think nothing of shooting me in the face with one of her many 1911s.

little red-haired girl

It was a purely professional business transaction between her and I, and no funny stuff took place unless you count the fact that she blew her nose on my new gun before she shipped it to me.


Like all 1911 mavens, she is extremely mean and nasty.

Some of you might be saying, “Zoomie!  You are rambling!  Shut the fuck up and tell us what you bought!  Asshole!”


Czech it out.

It is a new commie CZ75BD, all-steel, 9mm, 16 +1, made in Czechoslovakia...and then shuffled off to Kansas City, Kansas.

I say “commie” because Czechoslovakia used to be part of the Communist bloc party of nations, but not so much anymore.    

I am told that my new CZ75BD is a lot like a Browning Hi-Power and/or a 1911, supposedly, but cheaper and more better and refined because the CZ company took the best parts of the Hi-Power and 1911 and mashed them all together to get what we have now.

Hell no it's not nickel-plated, but nor is is blued.

CZ does what is kinda like a paint thing to their tactical shit...a poly-coating of some sort.  It is tough as nails and seems impervious to solvents.

I understand that some of you might be thinking painting a gun is pure cheese-dickery, but this shit works.

Hell...I guess if it does ever chip, one could touch it up with a Sharpie!

I’ve heard of some famous gun cat named Colonel D.B. Cooper who likes the CZ75, but I don’t know too much about all of that.

The CZ75 series apparently is also used by a bunch of former Commie bloc party police and military, so if it’s good enough for them, it will probably be OK for me to use too when the apocalypse comes-a-calling.

The CZ75 I bought is the “decocker” version.

The term “de-cocker” is kinda emasculating, and I don’t want to be de-cocked, but once I looked into it I decided getting de-cocked wouldn’t be so bad because walking around with the hammer down on a loaded throat could get me de-cocked for real and I probably wouldn’t like that much.

So…I order and receive my new piece, and it sits for a couple of months until just last week when I finally get a chance to give it a test drive.

I’ve been busy.

Sue me.

I grabbed a couple hundred rounds of cheap WalMart Winchester white-box ammo and headed out to Indy Trading Post to try out their new indoor range.

My CZ ran without a hitch and was very accurate with no failures of any kind.

Silky smooth operation.  Sweet recoil.  A joy to hold and fire.

Here are a couple of my targets which were 7 yards distant. 

This is my first few magazines, and I sorta dumped them in an orgiastic frenzy of trigger yanking mayhem.

This is my next couple of magazines using proper techniques and stuff.  Note how I blasted dude's heart out his back and then pumped his stupid head full of holes.  I am a stone cold paper-punching bad-ass!

The de-cocker mechanism was a little stiff, but worked itself out nicely after a few manipulations.

I love manipulating my de-cocker now.


Some of you might be saying, “Zoomie!  You and your gun reviews suck much ass!  Who do you think you are…Massoob Ayaab?  Please hurry up and die already!”

This would be my reply:

First of all, I’m sure he is the God of War, but I don’t care much for Massoob Ayaab.

Conditional branching?

Total compliance?


What a douche.

"Cop just wants to go home at the end of his shift."

No shit? Guess what, crater-face. I wanna go home too…preferably without being harassed by a donut-assaulting, tax-devouring, revenue-collecting government agent for exercising my Constitutional rights.

How's about you don't treat every citizen as if he is John Dillinger?

How's about you lay off the "pre-crime" investigation. You fuckers mop up afterwards most times anyways. Grab a swab. I'll take care of me and mine.

How's about you don't expect me to genuflect and lick your balls every time we have an encounter so you feel "comfortable?"

Fuck your "comfort." Seems to me your level of "comfort" is in direct proportion to my level of liberty and how much of it you wanna try to take.

I give two shits about making your job "easier."

Nobody helps make my job "easier."

If you can't handle the tough job, it's time to look for something else to do.

Smarmy bitch.

Fuck you.

I don’t want to be Massoob Ayaab.

Whew...I feel better now that I've said all of that crap.

One word of advice about the CZ from your Uncle Zoomie:

When I got home I field stripped my CZ and hosed it down with an automotive brake cleaning solvent.

I don’t recommend this activity unless you first remove the cheap factory plastic hand-grips.

I did not, and my plastic hand-grips started to turn white, melt, and dissolve right before my very horrified eyes, but this gave me an excuse to order a set of Hogue rubber grips with finger grooves.

Doing this gave my new CZ75 a custom personalized appearance and made it look and feel cool and menacing too.

In addition to the grips, I also purchased a cheap and embarrassing Fobus paddle holster.

I know a lot of you snobs out there think that if you don't use a $200 hand-fabricated custom leather rig to carry your piece, you are probably anti-American and definitely stupid.

I do not agree, and I don't give a shit what you think.

Generally, I like the Fobus.  It works for me in most cases, and one drawback to the CZ75 is that there are not a shitload of holster choices for it.

The Fobus I got for my CZ75 does not have the retention tension adjusting screw like other Fobus models, and from what I could tell, Fobus does not make a paddle holster for the CZ75 with the adjustment capabilities.

Initially, the Fobus held my CZ75 much too tight, and I damn near undressed myself when I tried to draw.

I put the piece in the holster, and then gently warmed the whole mess on a space heater.

Doing this seemed to loosen things up a bit and make the Fobus more usable.

I am a fucking genius.

Or something...

But I still wasn't satisfied, so I did something really intelligent and went to the Fobus website.

There, they recommended that one can wipe down the inside of the holster with some kind of lube to make it easier to draw one's tight piece.

This I did with a little CLP, and I found inserting into and withdrawing from my tight little Fobus much more pleasurable.

I had a smoke, and all was right with the world.

But then…wouldn’t you know it…just the other day…a gang of Albanian dwarves got the drop on me and took my new CZ75!

Once again I am disarmed and defenseless.


And damn all you Albanian dwarves straight to hell!



  1. Massoob Ayaab.

    And he backs up every police killing regardless of the circumstances.

  2. I had (HAD) a pre-wall CZ-75 that I brought home from Europe that got snatched by Romanian dwarves a few years ago. Talk about pissed. I loved that weapon.

  3. We should do something about those former communist bloc gun stealing dwarves.

    Them shrunken motherfuckers are ripping us off blind!

  4. Nice write up (your site rocks even with the non-child safe language!). Stopped taking 'gun magazines' years ago primarly because of M. Ayaab and his ilk - seemd a mindless waste of money given their adversting for the gun industry. Spend the money on beer and bullets now - and feel better for it. Like your work.

  5. nice pistol. damned dwarves...

  6. I love my SP01 tactical and so far have kept it hidden from the staturally challenged.

  7. Zoomie,
    I have a CZ-83 (380, short dick 9mm) and I love it too, nice handle, shoots accurately and can't get the damn thing to jam, even on crummy ammo, I even threw it into my beer and mud and it still worked. Commie Czechs had something going for them.


  8. I like your reviews better than Ayoob. His don't make me crack up.

  9. Nice shooter!
    Hope the boogers weren't too crusty by the time it got to you.
    By the way, I never guessed you for a crier...

  10. Little Red Haired Girl:

    Yes. I am a delicate and sensitive guy.

  11. I've wanted either the 75 or 85 ,like, forever dude.

    Always enjoyed reading Mas's articles in American Handgunner, but in his videos he comes off as an "Only One". May he suffer the wrath of the vertically challenged eastern european hordes ...

    WTF? Seriously? Whats with this captcha crap? You trying to say somethin' or what? "MENSA" i shit you not, that's what it says ...

  12. I dunno nuthin' 'bout no capture crap besides that it is supposed to cut down on bot spammers. I have no control over what words are used. Or do I?

    Anyhoo...go ahead and getcha a CZ. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

  13. The other day I got TITS UP drunk as hell and went into town and traded my lever action 44 for a brand new 2012 cz 75bd. BOOM BITCH. It was the best blacked out trade ever made. Sometimes you just have to giv'er and hope for the ol best. Best Gun ever made in my opinion. Shits all over GLOCK, SIG, TAURUS, AND SO ON. When in doubt, pull the CZ out. Heppppppppppppppp FTP or any LEO BOOM

    1. Best comment I have ever received. Congrats and thank you. I wanna party with you, pal.

    2. Well my friend, when the GD red coats, monopoly havin chinamen, and cabbage n muff north Koreans rain on our parade. It will be exactly like a party. We will be brandishing CZ75bd's and pounding Molsons. Getting TITS UP high and drunk as spliff blastin shit. haaayyyyyeeeeeepppppppp

    3. Loved mine too!!! It was dissolved by Peruvian porch puppy piss....I shouldn't have left it out on the porch over the winter!!!

  14. 45's for me. Well and a .357 in the pocket.

    1. That's 'cuz you are old and set in your ways and a Johnny Reb. You are not young and handsome and daring like me.

    2. Ditto re: 45's. That's why i went with a CZ97. Best of both worlds. Throw 230 grains chunks accurately! Do not let anyone tell ya DA 45's are fer pussies. Old thread, I know. Kinda partial to backup .357's, as well.

  15. Cz75BD - $350 OTD. Now it lives next to the bed with 69 rds total ready to go. I love it!! What a foxy piece!!

  16. Where do you get a CZ75BD for $350?? I'm looking at one for $540. What is OTD?
    --a Newbie

  17. OTD = out the door.

    And I have no idea where our boy above got it for three-fiddy. No way in hell that was new retail.

    Least ways I never heard of such a thing...

    Lucky motherfucker, though.

    Maybe he's a swinging Czech from Czechland and saved on freight/import fees.

    The price you quoted is normal retail for new in my area.

  18. I love my SPO1 because it's accurate as all get out... better than my Glock Gen 4. Looks like Santa is going to drop a BD in my stocking (especially after reading the review.)

  19. That SP01 is a bad-ass looking piece.
    I am confident you will love the CZ75 also.
    You must have been a good boy this year for Santa to bring you one!
    Thanks for visiting and commenting, and good luck with your new pistola.

  20. Mr Zoomie

    It so happens that I saw your excellent Hunter Thompson esx diatibe on the CZ-75BD, when I was in an impressionable state, ( In a State) looking for same on the internet. It's a done deal now I have to have one.


    1. You will love it.
      I guarantee it.
      If you don't love it, I'll buy it off you for $10.

    2. He's always been a cheapskate, I'll give you $11.......

  21. Love your review Zoomie...

    I got my CZ 75 BD yesterday and was a grinnin' fool all the way home...Took me weeks to track one down...heading to the range this weekend!!!

    Down with the Eastern Euro Midgets!

    1. You can't go wrong with the CZ75, I think.
      You will love it.
      Let me know how your little terrorist range trip went.

      Congrats on the new gat.

  22. Nice to hear positives about the CZ. I've had one for a few years and it has been accurate and flawless. Would not trade it for anything. Actual had a Ruger P95 first which was nothing but trouble. Got tired of it and found the CZ.

  23. Old Post, I know...but researching the CZ brought me here, so, in a haze of smoke and Coors I plunged into the Zoomie pool...I picked up the CZ BD a couple of days ago and LOVE it! Sweet -Ass bitch it be! Shot some white box, Aguila and some reloads I had and she never squawked, burped or complained, unlike the Russian Bride bitch that resides in the other room watching the Estrogen Channel as we speak...I think I paid more for the gun than her, and right now it seems like a better choice. All in all, the gun is sweet and I'm very glad I didn't have to buy another used ,old piece of Shit from a Shady dealer (yep, still talking about the bitch in the other room)...the only difference is, I WON'T be trading in the gun for a new model... We'll see about the bride... and always remember "We Carry Guns Because a Cop is too Heavy" . Love the site, and I'll be watching because you entertain me...

    1. Good deal. Glad you like the cz. Tell the old battle axe to bring you a vodka tonic, then pistol whip her. That'll learn her.

      I am happy you enjoy my insignificant little corner of the intardwebs. Maybe one day when I throw all my needfull kids outta the house I can get back to buying more new guns and reviewing them.


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Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.