Saturday, April 5, 2014

LOL! WTF? Then, It's Gonzo!

So I'm bumping around the intardnets this morning, checking out my favorite domesticated terrorist blog-sites as I do every morning over coffee, and this catches my eye.

I think to myself, "Damn!  That looks familiar, but something's different."

I examine it a little closer, and there, amongst the dithering and horrifying pixelation, I see a bastardization of one of my sophomoric and cartoonish graphics.

Holy fuck!  Did this unidentified ass-clown use a crayon to "create" this abomination?

Here is the original, produced by yours truly, two years ago.

Ain't it purty-full?

I'm flattered, a little angry, and amused all at the same time.

I am a riddle wrapped in bacon.

Or something...

Anyhoo...I type up a quick, witty retort and am amazed an hour or so later when it is published.

Now, some of you might be saying, "Zoomie!  Who gives a fuck, and the hell do we know that the image YOU say is yours is really YOUR original intellectual property?  You steal other people's shit all the time and claim it to be cool because it's satire or protected free political speech.  Fuck you, hypocrite!  Hurry up and die already!"

I suppose there is some truth to that.  I will sometimes take elements of pictures or art and use them for my own nefarious purposes.  But, if the shit is in the public domain, or I get permission, it's all good and I try to give credit where and when it is due.

Yes. I am lawyer-like and amazing!

It is also true that I have given blanket approval for patriots across the innerwebs to use my shit for free whenever they want and maybe give me a little credit.  Thing is, it ain't kosher to alter my crap and then make it look even shittier than I made it look originally.

I admit my stuff sometimes contains content and messages of dubious value, but I take pride in producing something that, if nothing else, looks good and is technically pleasing to see on a computer monitor.  No pixelated bullshit if I can avoid it...

I try to not put out stuff that looks like a bag of smashed assholes.

I gots standards.

Your mileage may vary.

Here is some more evidence that what I say is mine really IS mine.

This is the Bowie knife.  There are many like it, but this one is mine.  This stock image I created by putting the knife on my scanner and scanning it at alarmingly high resolution.
(This image was the foundation for one of the apps in the "There's an app for that" post). 

The knife was probably made in some Chinese or Pakistani shit-hole, but it is mine and I keep it in my secret arms bunker with all my other stabby and shooty things.

This next image is a picture I took with MY own camera in MY own back yard using MY telephone pole with MY own Bowie knife stabbed into MY copy of the Declaration of Independence.

See the resemblance?

It is the foundation I used for the creation of some of my agitation propaganda pieces. 

Do you people also see that I had to create the concept?  I had to use my intellectual abilities...slight as they may take that concept I created in my head, and actually do something to build it and make it happen.

Gather up and create the props used in the photo...wait for good afternoon lighting and shadows...compose the picture.  Crop.  Edit.  Enhance.

I know.  Big fucking deal.

Well...several hours later, the offending post with the fucked up version of my intellectual property was deleted with no explanations or excuses or apologies given.  

Don't be a man and fess up to it.  Sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen.

That's OK too.

It's not like I was gonna threaten to sue anybody if the picture wasn't taken down.

I'm not that guy.

But I will be a wise-ass and talk tuff on the intardnets about it, though.

I am definitely THAT guy.


So there!

Suck it, bitches!


  1. First off, if you would have put one more "I" in this post, I'd have thunk Obama wrote it. Second, you're just being raysssst or something !!!!!!!??

  2. Blogging, by its very nature, is personal.
    It IS all about me.

    Choke yourself.



  3. Did you pay Disney to use mickey mouse on you other art

    1. Who said anything about getting paid?
      Anonymous fuckface coward...

    2. Just saying you ripped off disney. I don't think you asked permission. Same thing. Don't get mad because your no better than that guy

  4. "I am a riddle wrapped in bacon.

    Or something..."

    A bacon ranch wrap or a pepperoni bacon pizza? I'm not a chef, I just like food. ;)

    Anyway, the offending individual probably thought there would be no notice of the ripoff and piss poor graphics, which labels them either as a blithering idiot or an arrogant shit.

  5. Anon misses the point (deliberately, I suspect). Zoomie never claimed to have created Mickey. He never tried to pass it off as his own. Big, big difference. So, please, eat a mountain of sh*t and die a horrible, lingering death.

    Have a nice day.

    1. You say mean things to people.
      Arrest yourself.

    2. Oh...and you can say "shit" here and spell it out. You may spell out all your filth here if you want. I only censor cunty thoughts.

    3. I don't know what you'll name your storefront/museum, but I hope the banner says this: "Really I'm not sorry, you dumb motherfuckers." Also, you were awfully kind so thanks, and your 30 second line below was one of the funniest ever. Talk about a roll.

  6. Formatted is different than created yall just don't like being called out on your own hypocrisy

  7. Fuck off, troll. How many times have Disney characters been used without compensation like this? More than anyone knows, is my guess. You're just looking for an advantage, because of what you label hypocrisy.

    Zoomie does what he does, and many of us appreciate it. If you don't, then fuck you, cockbreath.

    1. That wasn't a very nice thing to say. Your intermittent explosive disorder is rearing its ugly head again.

      Can't we all just get along?

      No more guns for you, terrorist!

    2. I apologize, Zoomie, my IED does tend to get the better of me when looking at words from 5 year old asshats. I've tried to keep it in check for years, but will try harder.

      I'll go choke myself now.

  8. "This is the Bowie knife. There are many like it, but this one is mine."

    That's cute, Zoomie: "mine." Newspeak Dictionary says it's an obsolete form, soon to become archaic.

    "It IS all about me."

    Oh, right...and next you'll be telling us that your thoughts are yours too. Can't we vote on this?

  9. Watch it don't say what he does not like he will delete your comments

    1. This has been fun. I don't delete comments unless somebody is being cunty. You're just about there.

  10. I'm fairly certain Disney never produced Mickey flipping the bird. That image has been out there for damn near 40 years. I first saw it about the time of the Iran hostage thing. It was made by a grass smoking hippie, I bet. If I knew who he was, I'd give him credit.

    My stuff is fairly well known and iconic in the patriot community. I'm kind of a big deal. Just ask me. You can't tell me the poster or the blogger didn't know where that image came from, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and posted a relatively benign comment. I even offered my services.

    I'm a pretty benign guy actually...that is, until I perceive I'm being fucked with. Then, I can be a real you have discovered.

  11. I suppose I should have asked Jim Bowie for permission to use his knife design too.

  12. may be helpful to read the mission statement on the right sidebar...


    Some get it. Some do not.

  13. Yeah well whatever, man.
    I do recall you saying that damned near anybody could use your shit, but like you I kinda sorta overestimated the average intellect. See, I thought you meant we could use it in our posts or as headers or sidebar images or whatever, not that we were free to alter, demean and befoul it ourselves.
    Fuck 'em.

    1. Christ on a crutch! Get the fuck outta here and go back to your place and post a photo of Liz Hurley's tits and meat curtains.

      I need some new wanking material.

  14. This is why the world needs a cleansing fire...Mr Zoomie is a guy that will give you the shirt off his back...Which he has done for me...He just doesn't like seeing his shirt on some dude that has stole it out of his closet, cut off the sleeves, spilled beer on it and then says to the hot chick ain't my shirt cool...Oh and Anon why don't you go chew cyanide...

    1. Nice. You expressed in one paragraph what I tried to say in a rambling, psychotic diatribe.
      Thanks a lot, Sparky.

    2. ;-)...Anything to help...I'm like that Y'no...

  15. Slobyskysa RotchikokovApril 6, 2014 at 11:37 PM

    Just puzzled about all the fuss; one guy posted something that another person sent him, thinking it was original work. when it was pointed out that it was NOT original, the guy took it down. Should we call in Eric Holder and have Butch Napolitano appoint some kind of commission, or is this just something that should have come and gone without all the hubbub?

    1. I don't do subtle.

      What the fuck kinda name is Slobyskysa Rotchikokov? Are you Russian? Can you hook me up with a Russian supermodel? I would give her the good news and bang her like a screen door on a submarine in a thunderstorm.

      It would be the best 30 seconds of her life.

    2. Slobyskysa RotchikokovApril 6, 2014 at 11:51 PM

      You might like my sister; she is a virgin, as are her oldest daughters, if you have American dollars and cartons of Virginia Slims

    3. Oh...I'm beginning to like you! At first, I sensed a trace of possible cunty-ness, but I believe I was wrong.

      I might give you a nice Anglo-sized nickname if you stick around.

      You will know I like you if I give you a cool nickname.

      Marlboro Lights OK?

    4. Slobyskysa RotchikokovApril 7, 2014 at 8:10 AM

      I will ask Slutanya, Mariska and Ivana if that substitution would suffice. Of course, if you are well established businessman with nice bank account, other things all negotiable. Myself, I have no need of money as a Nigerian prince who is fleeing his country has promised now to wire 230 million US dollars into my accounts; only yesterday did I meet him by good fortune and sent him my bank account and credit card numbers for verification.
      So I will be wealthy man, and fulfill my dream of organizing a MMA cage battle to the death between Mr. Putin and the American fellow, I think Mister obambi?

  16. OK...for you smart asses accusing me if ripping off Mickey Mouse...
    I didn't want to do this...bring out the big guns...but there it is.
    At the end of the post.
    Something I have saved and treasured for years.
    A simple, one page, type-written letter on brittle yellowed paper.

    Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, motherfuckers!

  17. Epic.

    Knew ol' Dizney was a taut-belly-lover.

    Just surprised to see the ref to human bellies.



  18. Absolutely fucking hilarious. You made my day!

  19. I am happy that I have made you happy.
    Your happiness is of paramount importance to me.
    My work here is finished.

  20. I can tell that you, as do I, turn and look whenever some yells "Hey asshole!"

  21. I like to think of it as high-spiritedness.


Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.