Indiana University Bloomington Circa 1982: My Second Year Room Mate

Another IU story. My roommate the second year. His name was Randy, and he was from Evansville Indiana. 

We had set up the 2nd year roommate situation at the end of the first year. The first year in the dorm was when I met him, and we both had roommates that first year that weren't good matches.

Randy and I were GREAT matches. Studying was secondary. Partying like mad dogs came first. Our musical tastes were very similar too, which was of paramount importance. 

Anyoo...Randy was a little rough around the edges, which was fine, but he had a heart of gold.

What he didn't have, was two hands! I can't remember which one was missing, but it was gone...and it departed the end of his arm in the most gruesome and traumatic of fashions.

Evansville, where he grew up and his folks still lived, is coal mining country.

Seems one fine day in his youth, he found what was either blasting caps or some other explosive used for coal mining...just laying around waiting for some poor, dumb, unsuspecting bastard to pick it up and fuck around with it. 

Randy was that poor dumb bastard. 

His hand was gone at the wrist. 

He had two prosthetic attachments he could use. 

One was a double-hook type thing with pincers that he could manipulate by flexing his shoulder. 

The other was some kinda fake, plastic, flesh colored bullshit that looked like his lower arm and hand. 

He usually wore the hook thing. 

The other thing was for dressing up, formal pictures, etc. 

He was skilled in the use of the hook. It attached to his body via a couple of straps, similar to how a handgun shoulder holster fits onto one's body.

He could tie his shoes, use buttons effectively, drive...pretty much everything a two handed dude can do, Randy could do too. 

There was one thing Randy could do that I couldn't. 

He could detach his hook from his arm, expertly insert a joint between the tips of his hooks, and pass a joint around! 

Motherfucker! I loved this guy! A built-in roach clip! Genius! 

He did so at an Aerosmith concert at Market Square Arena. 

The people around us lost their shit. It was spectacular!

Randy could also open beer bottles with his hook, but...of course he could! 

I invited him back to Indy for a weekend to spend time at my folks house. 

He invited me to Evansville to do the same. 

He was a perfect guest and host. 

My father REALLY liked him. 

My father was basically handicapped after getting his legs crushed by a car as a youth, but he never let it stop him from doing incredible shit. 

I'm guessing Dad saw some of himself in Randy, and respected him for it. 

By the end of my first semester second year, I was beginning to realize that Bloomington specifically, and university, in general, were not the place for me...and were a colossal waste of time and money. 

I would leave IU/Bloomington and Randy for the satellite campus in Indy for one more semester. 

Then I would bailout and surrender. 

I was a college dropout, and I was so proud. 

I never saw or heard from Randy again.