Language and the way people talk has always fascinated me.
Phrasing, tone, rhythm, slang, regional dialects...I'm there for all of it.
When I was about 12, the family took a road trip from Indy to Alabama to visit my doctor uncle.
We stopped in Atlanta for a Six Flags amusement park break, where I had my first encounter with a true southern girl.
She was about my age, pretty as a picture, and the southern accent was so sweet and endearing.
Georgia peach indeed!
She melted my heart, and I was in love immediately.
The words, "damn yankee," or "well...bless your little ol' heart" never left her lips.
I just know she made a permanent impression.
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When my son moved to Utah, somebody asked him what part of the south he was from.
Stoopid Mormons, that's a Hoosier twang you're hearing!
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The Marine Corps exposed me to it all...a TRUE melting pot.
East coast tuffs, the deep rebel south, Texans, upper mid-west (think the movie Fargo), southwest and west coast Hispanics, west coast surfer dudes and the "Valley Girl" scene.
It was marvelous.
With Marines, there was no racism. We were brothers.
Some of us were light green, some of us were dark green, and we'd all take a bullet for the other.
There were exceptions, but they were rare.
We could freely joke about racial issues, and nobody got butt-hurt.
That's the way it should be.
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A few days ago at the office at work, I noticed one of the new young office ladies trying to converse with a Hispanic warehouse worker who obviously English was her second language.
When they concluded their conversation I asked the office girl, "Don't you sprechen sie Espanol?"
I'm a laff riot.
She said that she was not fluent.
I replied, "That surprises me, what with the obvious Spanish lilt to your speaking voice."
She replied that she was sorry.
I was flabbergasted and said, "No need to be sorry. It's not like you sound like Cheech and Chong. I like your voice. It's cool."
Am I a smoove operator or what?
She's younger than my kids.
Get your mind outta the gutter.
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Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.
Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.
Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.
To know me is to love me.
Or something.
Maybe.