Monday, March 4, 2013

Big News!

I bet I was drunk and armed at the time...

I believe it's important for you people to know that long before I blogged cartoonish and shitty and subversive material here, I was blogging shitty and childish material here about open-wheeled Indy Car excitement and the Indianapolis 500.

See...I grew up within walking distance of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and have spent ridiculous amounts of time there in my 50-plus years on this planet.

I received confirmation yesterday that I will be taking my traditional paid vacation time during the 2 weeks of May for the 2013 running of my beloved Indianapolis 500.


Sometimes, it is beneficial to work for a huge evil corporate conglomerate bent on the destruction of everything everyone holds dear.

For those of you not in the know...for several years back in the good old days...I took the entire month of May off from work and spent alarming amounts of time at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway drinking shocking amounts of beer and using foul language.

I would take pictures and write dumb stories and post them on the intardnets here and elsewhere and I became kind of a big deal.


Then, job changes and life in general got in the way, and last year I wasn't able to do my thang and I became full of rage and bitterness and seething white-hot hate.

Millions of folks who depended on my wacky Indy 500 coverage were sad and disappointed and some committed suicide because their lives were ruined and no longer had purpose.


I blame George Bush.

Everything is his fault.

Just ask President O'Vomit.

I may or may not get a bronzed badge which will give me unfettered access to the furthest reaches and bowels of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

Who is to say?

Certainly not me. conclusion...after a one-year hiatus, it looks like I will be doing my Indy 500 blog mess again this year.

During that time, don't expect me to post terroristic articles about O'Vomit and his criminal progressive treasonous cabal.

There'll be plenty of time for that before and after Indy.

The good Lord willing and the drones don't get me...

kind of a big deal


  1. The T-shirt says it all. "I am Zoomie"...

    Just because you step out into the real world to enjoy your life and have (even more) fun, doesn't change the fact of who you are. I'll be checking in on you often from across the pond, so you had better slip in some disgustingly patriotic shit during your Indygasm, or I will feel compelled to come over there to join you and get you hideously batshit drunk.

    Don't let me the fuck down! (Please let me the fuck down!)

    1. I dare you to come over here. It would be epic...a limey and a SPAM together swilling beer and cursing a lot.

      With guns...

  2. Well have a good time Zoomie, just don't get too mellow and mess up your angry artist muse. ;)
    Miss Violet

    1. I don't think it's possible, sister. I got enough hate in me to keep the state warm!

  3. My life has gone

    and I say


    One drip at a time

    I give my things away

    I pay my debts

    Make amends


    and now.

    Things are mixing.

    I may pass

    from one new life

    to another

    Either way

    I pass through

    whether it be

    to a new life

    or a new death

    Only time

    will tell.

    Living life like that sucks.As you can tell I relate. Many of us were once normal law abiding citizens living our normal live's. Take a break dude and down a couple for the rest of us. This crap will still be here when you get back.

    1. Thanks, man. You're right. This Indy Car/May thing is my only real guilty pleasure I allow myself any more.

      But...I imagine I'll still be able to work in a few licks against the regime while swilling beers and watching race cars.

      Subversion never sleeps, after all...


  4. I for one, am looking forward to seeing you at the track Mr. Zoomie.

    And as a witness (from a Suite no less) of your double-fisted bird-flying represented in that pic, I can say that on that day, you were not (overly) intoxicated.


    See you at 16th & Georgetown!

    Tommy D.

    1. I am psyched as well, and I anticipate a playful reunion.
      Any chance of a Camp & Brew this year?
      It was always something I enjoyed immensely.

  5. I committed suicide several times due to your recalcitrance, and I know several others who did, too. Thank heavens that's behind us. Shit gets old.

  6. I know. It sucks offing yourself, don't it?

    I look forward to seeing you and the other Indy malingerers.

    Maybe we should torch your one-lunged foreign car in the infield this year.
    It would be epic.

    Please? Can we? Please?

    Be a sport...

  7. Should be an eggciting eight days of May. Just think, had they made the Novi the engine of choice one of them would not doubt win the "500". I of course will be pulling for the wall or Sebastian Seevedra. Enjoy!


Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.