Sunday, May 12, 2013

My 2013 Indy 500 Jamboree And Hootenanny: Where The Fuck You At Zoomie?

Seems as if both of my fans are wondering why I ain't at the race track like I said I would a while back.

It's because I am a big liar.


Thanks for askin', fellahs.

But when I should have been watching this...

IMS photo

 I was doing this...

Kinda sucks, don't it?

Yeah...the project is comin' along, but it takes longer than usual because it is our one and only crapper and it has to be semi-functional throughout the process and I have to try to keep the mess and disruptions to a minimum and with five people and a cat living in my shack it can get to be ponderous and tempers fray and there could be big trouble in little China here before too long if I don't wrap this up.

So you see I can't be a recalcitrant malingerer or anything...

Damned cat...

Hells bells.

Today is Mothers Day, and I'm even blowing Mom off in order to make some headway here! 


I am a bad son.

Love you, Mom! 

I heard Joe Newhausen went out yesterday and turned a 245mph lap right outta the box. 

This according to one member of my crack team of reporters on site...

I bet Arie Luyendyk was pissed his track record was smashed to smithereens like it was easy and cool.

That's what I think.

I called bullshit almost immediately when I heard the news of a 245mph lap and accused my reporter dude of being drunk and almost certainly gay...not that there's anything wrong with either of those personal attributes.

But apparently it was Ed Carpantier who went out and blistered the racing surfaces with the day's top speed of about 220mph.

Nice job, Ed.

I've said it before.

Ed has the potential to win this thing someday soon.


Seeing as I have earned a break, I most likely will put my tool belt down Monday and get my narrow, emaciated ass out to my beloved Indianapolis Motor Speedway to watch fast and shiny racing units orbit the world's greatest racing facility. 

Yes. That sounds like a plan.

It could happen, but it might not.

Who's to say?

Certainly not me, because I am a big liar.

...and a tool.   

1 comment:

Feel free to comment away with your bad-ass selves.

Cursing and foul language is fine...even encouraged here. In fact, I think cussing is fucking wonderful.

Just remember...this is MY house, and I will not be insulted or maliciously messed with here.

Good-natured ribbing is cool, but if you and I don't have some kind of previous relationship, you had best mind your fucking manners or I will relegate you to the intardnets dustbin for being a cunt.

To know me is to love me.

Or something.