Monday, June 15, 2009

War Letters: Part 15

February 8, 1991

Getting an attitude in the desert somewhere near Kabrit, Saudi Arabia

Dear Lynda:

Hi babe! How are you? I’m fine.

I’m on duty again, but it’s 1pm instead of 1am. I received three letters from you yesterday. I’ve gone 5 days without any mail, so I was happy to get them. Sounds like they are working you to death.

Cowan, Colyer, Lautner, and I went to another camp today. It was the first time I had left this position since I got here…about three weeks (since January 15). I wanted to get out of this place for a while and explore. It was an eye opener. The road trip was interesting too.

We were hauling ass in our Hummer down this sandy road …three or four lanes each direction…everybody passing on all sides…the dust so thick it was like fog! There were big holes and dips in the road that you couldn’t see until you went into them. We’d go flying into the air and come crashing down…kinda like Rat Patrol!

Out in front of us all over the place are tanks, infantry, and Patriot missile sites. Seeing them made me feel pretty comfortable.

We ended up at our Division Support Area (DSA), and it was something to see also. It is the biggest cluster-fuck I’ve ever seen…tanks guarding the entrances…everything sandbagged or with sand berms pushed around…and lots of Jarheads! I saw at least three semi-trailers full of mail. I can’t figure out why we aren’t getting any!

The wait in line to buy junk food and smokes was three hours long. I didn’t bother.

I talked with some of our Wiremen while out there. They said one of our WMs got married out here yesterday! Her boyfriend/fiancé/husband is a Marine here too. They got hitched by the Battalion Chaplain, and were given a ½ hour honeymoon in the supply tent. The happy young couple consummated their marriage on a cot in between the food rations and the chemical protective suits…confident that they would not be disturbed, because they had guards posted all around the tent! How romantic! How pitiful!

It’s getting funnier around here all the time.

AFARTS has been saying that Elvis has been sighted in various places in Saudi Arabia. Yesterday, they broke in and said that Elvis and Janis Joplin were sighted in a Jeep cruising through Kuwait City!

I saw a tank yesterday with “Elvis Lives!” scrawled on the side. Another tank had “Saddam-izer” painted on its main gun. Everyone is giving their vehicles names. Some of the names are better than others, of course.

At the DSA there were helicopters coming and going…carrying cargo in nets suspended underneath. They even had a landing strip carved out of the desert, and we saw a big C-130 land on it and kick up a ton of dust.

All this made me realize that there’s no way we can lose this war. We can re-supply ourselves at will, with no worry of Iraqi attack. The Iraqis are lucky to get one truck through to get supplies to their troops! We saw tons and tons of food and other supplies it takes to keep the war machine moving, and it was all for us. Made me feel pretty good and secure!

I had a dream last night that Iraq surrendered and the war was over and that I was going home. Then I woke up.

Sometimes it seems that the time for going home is so far away that it will never come.

I heard that an Iraqi major surrendered yesterday, and he said his army wants to quit and go home, but Saddam won’t let them. The major said his army wants Saddam gone as much as we do, and that as soon as Saddam is dead, no Iraqis will fight.

Saddam threatens to kill any Iraqi soldier and his family if he doesn’t fight or surrenders. Saddam is a murdering scumbag!

On the bright side, Cowan got a package yesterday, and inside were some old Indianapolis Star newspapers. I was looking through one of them and was happy to see that Coors beer is now being sold in Indiana! That’s great! Can’t wait to get home and slam down a case of it!

You said Jarboe (and old civilian friend who joined the Navy about the same time I joined the Corps) called. I figured he would be out here long before me. Oh well…I guess I can kid him about being a greenhorn out here since I’m such a salty veteran now.

I think I’m finally starting to get sick out here. I’ve felt pretty good up until now, but I can feel a cold coming on. I’ve been sleeping outside for a month now, so I guess it’s about time I got sick. At least I haven’t had the flu or the runs yet. Colyer shit himself in the same way Cowan did a few days ago. I knew you’d be thrilled to know.

Have I described for you our head facilities yet? They are quite a feat of modern engineering! We dig a hole four feet deep, and place the shitter box on top of it. The box has two holes with lids, allowing an intimate shit with two men sitting back-to-back.

High-tech drawing of American field-expedient shitter engineering at its finest

Pretty neat, huh? Taking a pee is a little easier. Dig a hole, and do your business. Interesting stuff?

I’m really running out of subjects to write about.

Write back often and tell me what you’re thinking and doing. Miss you and love you a lot. Hope to see you soon. Keep the faith and take care.

Bye beloved.

Semper Fi.


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