Friday, May 21, 2010

Part 12- My Humongous Astronomical 2010 Indy 500 Blog Mess: Bertrand Baguette

Another rookie this year at Indy comes to us from Belgium, and his name is Bertrand Baguette.

Hallo and welcome! I hope our Yankee waffles are pleasing to you and remind you of home!

Bertrand started out in Techumseh-powered GoKarts in Belgium.

He proved to be wicked sick fast in those, and it wasn’t long before Formula One was knocking on his door to test for a couple of their high-powered teams.

But, Bertrand, never the one to take the pussy route, wanted to do something more difficult first, so he decided to go to the IndyCar series instead of nancy-boy F1.

Now… a lot of American folks enjoy making fun of his name and call him Au Jou, or Crepe Suzette, or Spinach Souffle, or some other Belgian/French-sounding culinary term, but I would never stoop to such a low level because I know derogatory nicknames for a gentleman and racer such as Bertrand Baguette are uncalled for and childish.

So there…

Anyhoo…As you probably know, Belgium is famous for being a sneaky shortcut for belligerent Germans who are well-armed and traveling to France.

Well, I’m here to tell you that this Belgian has figured out the shortcut around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and has posted some impressive speeds.

It wasn’t always so.

On opening day, I observed Bertrand closely…like I always do to rookies trying to tame my race track…and I was not impressed.

Between gulps of beer, I noticed he took a different line through Turn One every time, and I was sure he was going to end up a greasy smudge on Indy’s unforgiving concrete.

In fact, I announced, to no one in particular, that Mr. Baguette would be the first to visit Indy’s now infamous Hurt Locker.

I was wrong, and Bertrand has proven to be a quick learner.

I salute you, brave Belgiumite Indy racer!

I wish you continued success!


  1. you don't like nicknames huh?

    then why do you insist on calling me "2-1/2 men"?

  2. Zoomie you are slipping this year.

    Are you feeling ok? Something got you down this year - you are just not historical old self.

    Cheer up mate, Helio will get old one day and not be the favorite to win in about 10 years or so...that is one less year than the 11 last year


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