More Tales From The Road: Update With Video! Holy Fuck!

As most of you readily know, I drive a semi-truck for a living.

I have made that fact abundantly and ponderously clear on many occasions.

My really observant readers…both of you...have probably noted that I am more than little bit grouchy lately.

I have no real good reason for my surlier-than-usual attitude.

I mean…it looks like O’Vomit is gonna get his head kicked in November 6th, positive developments are bubbling to the surface on the personal employment scene (more on this later), I and my family are healthy, the sun is shining, the birds are buzzing, and the bees are chirping.

And who could forget that I recently had an “illuminating” experience with local law enforcement?

What the hell do I have to bitch about?

Maybe it’s because my eyes are open.

Every day I see metric ass-tons of military hardware heading east on Interstate 70.

Why?

We’re done in Iraq. 

Afghanistan is “winding down,” yet I see flat-bed after flat-bed of military trucks, wheeled APCs, and armored Hummers equipped with strange looking satellite dish thingies on top where the gun mount would normally be.

Oddly enough, the gear I've seen looks exactly like this.

 

Could these dish doo-dads be those screeching sound emitters used to control crowds?  Or, as the above graphic details, an "energy beam" which cooks the skin?  I sure as fuck don’t know.  

Maybe I should consult Alex Jones.

Where is all this military hardware going?

The east coast…where huge numbers of the recipient class reside…folks who will be displeased when the government tit gets shut off?  Folks who may riot when O’Vomit loses the election?

I’ll be rolled in crackers if I know, but surely all this gear isn’t still being sent overseas…is it?

Another interesting observation from the road is some goings-on at the scale house on I-70 in Richmond, Indiana.

I roll through this “chicken coop” every day, and I keep a close eye out for FEMA/DHS thuggery.

This week things seemed to be ratcheting up there.

New cameras and sensors popping up all over the place, and Friday morning I saw a festive circus tent set up with displays and throngs of interested government agents milling about.

Hell…they even had a big rig parked there as part of the demonstration, and the truck was donated by a treasonous trucking company!  (I don’t recall the name of the truck line.  I’m getting old and feeble, and I can collect only so much intel as I carefully roll over the scales.  Sorry.)

Later that day, I heard this news report on a local radio station:

http://www.wibc.com/news/story.aspx?ID=1794184

“State officials today unveiled what they call cutting-edge technology designed to revolutionize truck inspections across Indiana.

Department of Revenue Spokesman Bob Dittmer says the technology is still in the pilot phase. They're trying it out at the Richmond Inspection Facility on Interstate 70. Dittmer says the goal is to make highways safer in Indiana, Ohio and Illinois. He says the state unveiled two technologies in cooperation with Help Inc.

He says the first technology allows inspection stations to electronically get information directly from trucks about a mile before they hit inspection stations. Dittmer says the other technology is called "360 Smart View." It's used inside the inspection station. The technology takes photos of license plates and the vehicle certification information pops up on a computer screen in the station. Dittmer says the technology means truck inspection stops will last seconds compared to minutes.

Dittmer anticipates the technology could be installed at inspection stations across the state. He says they also believe the technology could save the state money over time.”

Yeah.  Sure.  It’s all about safety and saving time, fuel, and money.
 
…and that shit only takes pictures, and those pictures are only shots of the license plate, company name, and DOT numbers of commercial vehicles.
 
Please…
 
Lookie here, government ass-bags.  I neither want nor need you to baby-sit me or spy on me.  

Fuck you very much.
 
I believe that gear is gathering info on EVERBODY.  Not just commercial vehicles.
 
By the way…a great big hearty FUCK YOU to Help Inc as well. 

http://helpinc.us/

They are the slimy assholes that provided the technology to the Richmond scale house.
 
For fucking FREE!
 
It didn’t cost the state of Indiana a fucking dime.
 
This time.
 
Isn’t that special?
 
Yeah…it’s all about safety, dontcha know.
 
Nice work, shit-heads…
 
Sell your fucking soul to the state of Indiana.
 
Maybe the state will be so impressed with your spy technology that you will get a huge government contract and your shit will be hanging from every lamppost in Indiana.
 
Swell.
 
So yesterday I drove through the Richmond area and dully noted the new spy gear lovingly installed by Help Inc.  (I’ll try to take pics and video next time.)
 
As I rolled underneath the cameras and sensors on my way to the weigh station, I gave them a spirited double-fingered horizontal salute that would have looked a little something like this.

Don’t worry.
 
I still had my hands at 10 and 2.
 
It’s all about safety, dontcha know.
 
Wolverines!

A Great Big Hearty “FUCK YOU” To One Member Of The Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department

So there I was.

Zero-Dark-Thirty this morning.

In my big rig on I-70, downtown Indianapolis, raining, dark, 5 lanes heading east.

Doing like Ben Franklin said...minding my business.

I’m in the middle lane going about 57mph in a left-curving portion of the interstate.

The posted speed limit is 55mph.

(I am a rebel.)

There is a six-foot tall concrete dividing wall separating the eastbound side from the westbound side.

Ahead of me in my lane I see a Conway doubles rig putting along at about 50mph.

I kick on my left blinker, check my mirrors and see nothing behind me to my left, and proceed to move around the Conway rig.

About halfway through my maneuver, I see a set of headlights in my mirror suddenly appear around the divider wall in the lane to which I’ve almost completely moved.

I realize there’s no sense in trying the whip back over to the lane I was in, seeing as I would have had to lean into the binders pretty hard on wet pavement to miss Conway…and homie wasn’t about to do that…and the speeding headlights I saw still had one other lane to my left to safely get around me.

But he was closing the gap very quickly.

Too quickly, especially for the conditions.

So I gassed it a little more to get around Conway and create some space between Speed Racer and myself, and as the speeding car now in the far left lane got closer, he kicked on his high beams…and his driver’s side door pillar spotlight!

It was a fucking cop!

IMPD’s finest.

As the cop overtook me and passed me, he adjusted his spotlight so that it constantly shined directly into my driver’s side mirrors.

When he was at a position to where he could no longer shine his spotlight into my mirrors, he adjusted his spotlight again so that it shined directly into my face!

Nice professionalism, Porky.

Motherfucking pig had to be going 65mph in a 55mph zone…at night in the rain…got all road-raged because a mere mundane dared to impede his forward progress, and he decided to play flashlight tag with a fucking semi!

Let me give you a little tip, you worthless fucking scrote.

If you’re in such a big fucking hurry because you are on an emergency run, turn on your god damned disco lights.

I would have seen their reflection long before I saw your headlights, and I would have given you the space you apparently so desperately needed.

You didn’t turn on your disco lights because you were not on an emergency run.

You acted like a complete asshole because:

-The hot light at Krispey Kreme was on.

-It was the end of your shift, and you were in a hurry to get home to shoot your dog and beat your wife.

-You and yours operate by one set of rules…doing whatever the fuck you want…while we peasants must operate by another.

And another thing…if my driving errors were so egregious to the extent that you felt it necessary to fuck with me, why the hell didn’t you pull me over and cite me?

I’ll tell you why.

It’s because you are a lazy fucking coward.

You didn’t want to get out of your car and get wet, but you wanted to show your ass and prove to a hard-working taxpayer just who the fuck was in charge.

Fuck you, pal.

I wasn’t intimidated.

I didn't piss my pants.

I wasn’t scared of you. 

I didn't slow down either. 

I wasn’t impressed, and I showed you who was the bigger man by not retaliating in kind.

I didn't brake check you, swerve at you, flash my high beams at you, or honk my horn at you because I am an adult and a man.

You cannot say the same because you are a punk with a badge. 

I wish you had pulled me over.

I wish you had cited me.

You’d have gotten a fucking earful.

I god damn guarantee it.

And you would have seen me in court also.

That I god damn guarantee as well.

Let me tell you something else, fuck-face.

There’s a whole lotta law-abiding motherfuckers out here who are tired of your shit.

Yet, you and yours cry and bitch about not getting any respect or courtesy.

That shit is a two-way street.

You get what you give.

One of these nights, you may get your tit caught in a wringer, and the only motherfucker out there at that time of night to lend you a hand in a timely manner just might be me or another cat like me.

We might help you.

We might not.

It’s pretty much up to you.

Fuck you anyway.

Cunt.

 
Paul Johnson
-Indianapolis







Wolverines!

Movies You Might Enjoy

As I have said on many occasions, life is too short for bad cinema. 

I have obviously spent an inordinate amount of time recently watching movies on Netflix.

So...in order to save my valuable readers (both of you) time and regrets, I've narrowed it down a little.

The following are a few flicks which stand out in my sick twisted opinion.

I start with the Netflix overview, then I give my thoughts and a clip of the movie.

Enjoy!

_____

My Way- This fact-based wartime drama follows two young men, one Korean and one Japanese, whose athletic rivalry ends with the start of World War II. Captured by the Soviets, both men escape but are separated, only to meet again in the D-Day invasion.

The Koreans seem to be putting out some cool flicks.  This one rocks!  The combat scenes are epic and brutal, and the realistic special effects are on par with anything Hollywood can dish out.  Subtitles, of course, but the shit these guys go through makes it worth watching.  You'll be satisfyingly exhausted after seeing this movie.

Dead Snow- A group of Norwegian friends get the scariest history lesson of their lives during a weekend getaway to the snowy town of Øksfjord, where the party is interrupted by throngs of Nazi zombies who once occupied the area. Armed with a machine-gun-equipped snowmobile, the gang fights for survival in director Tommy Wirkola's quirky horror, shot on location in the mountains of Norway. The film had its U.S. premiere at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival.

I don't normally dig zombie movies, but this one was pretty good.  Dark and humorous.  Again, subtitled, but who cares?  You have zombie SS soldiers getting whacked, humans being eviscerated, skulls split open by hand, and brains being eaten. What's not to like?

The Grey- After narrowly surviving a deadly plane crash in the Alaskan wilderness, a band of oil riggers must fend for their lives in the ice and snow. But thanks to wolves that view their presence as a threat, they aren't alone.

This was pretty fucking intense.  I've always enjoyed cold-weather survival stories ever since I read Jack London's "To Build A Fire" way back in junior high school.  You will jump outta your seat and shit yourself during this flick, and this movie will make you want to carry nothing less than a bazooka when on walk-about where wolves might exist.

The Front Line- When a South Korean commander is killed by a friendly bullet during a cease fire, investigator Kang Eun-Pyo's trail leads him to a remote hill region. There, a once-meek 20-year-old and his small company seem to be fighting a different war.

Another great piece of cinema from Korea.  Subtitles, but you will hardly notice.  Fantastic combat scenes with lots of M1 Garands and some Mosin/Nagant sniper stuff.  The futility and stupidity of war personified...

Play Dirty- Tasked with leading a band of dangerous mercenaries into the African desert to destroy German fuel reserves during World War II, inexperienced British army Capt. Douglas (Michael Caine) must contend with a cantankerous veteran colonel (Nigel Green), an argumentative ex-convict (Nigel Davenport) and a traitorous brigadier (Harry Andrews). Directed by André De Toth, this action-packed war drama co-stars Daniel Pilon and Patrick Jordan.

An oldie but a goodie.  Classic British cinema with proper English usage and pronunciation coupled with typical UK cynicism and skullduggery.  A perfect example of why I love the Brits...charming as they slit your throat.  The buggers...

Hell On Wheels- Former Confederate soldier Cullen Bohannon seeks his wife's killer as post-Civil War America struggles to rebuild its identity. His quest traverses the history of Reconstruction, peopled with railroad bosses, emancipated slaves and immigrants.

A very well-done mini-series.  Lots of violence, revenge, and big-bore black powder mayhem. A few bits of probably unrealistic PCism, but overall not detracting from the totality of the series.  Watch all of the episodes and await patiently for the next season.  Hopefully.

The Devil's Double- Dominic Cooper stars as Uday Hussein -- Saddam Hussein's depraved, decadent elder son -- and as Latif Yahia, the army lieutenant forcibly drafted to be his body double, in this drama based on Yahia's autobiographical novel.

Damn.  Some serious violence here, and not for the squeamish.  Great story.  What a shit-hole Iraq was/is.  Almost makes me think the 2003 invasion was worth it after all.  Almost.  I found myself wanting to see a recreation of the demise of Saddam's sons, but it doesn't happen in this movie.  Watch it anyway.

Dead Man's Shoes- Richard comes home from the army bent on revenge against the local gang of dealers and thugs that brutalized his mentally disabled brother, Anthony. Richard terrorizes the bullies, who begin to turn on one another as he eliminates them one by one.

Holy shit!  A fantastic story of creative revenge, only possible by the sick twisted and evil genius Brits.  That's why I love 'em.  The cunts.

He Was A Quiet Man- Cubicle worker Bob is a resentful outsider who's started carrying a gun in case he gets the courage to use it on some of his co-workers. But when one of those co-workers starts shooting, Bob guns him down and becomes an inadvertent hero.

We've all been there.  Maybe.

To End All Wars- Inspired by real-life events, this drama explores the experiences of Capt. Ernest Gordon and other Japanese prisoners of war enlisted to build the Railroad of Death. As the men struggle to maintain their sanity and will, they begin to drift apart.

A modern "Bridge Over The River Kwai."  Jack Bauer gets the shit beaten out of him numerous times.  This movie will make you wanna nuke Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over again, but Japan said they were sorry...and we are all bestest buddies now...so I guess we'll forget all about it.

The Veteran- When he returns home from Afghanistan, troubled vet Robert Miller finds himself embroiled in another war in his violence-ridden housing complex. Soon, he becomes fixated on taking down brutal gangsters who may have ties to a suspected terrorist cell.

Another Brit revenge scenario...kinda like "Death Wish," only more graphic, and Paul Kersey gets "slotted" in this one, but not before he does a one-man frontal assault right straight-the-fuck through a UK ghetto.  Good drills, mate!

White Irish Drinkers- In a blue-collar Irish section of 1970s Brooklyn, brothers Danny (Geoff Wigdor) and Brian Leary (Nick Thurston) come of age in a family dominated by their longshoreman father, Patrick (Stephen Lang), whose hard-drinking leaves them scrambling for a way out. As delinquent Danny and dejected mom Margaret (Karen Allen) take the brunt of Patrick's assaults, aspiring artist Brian hides his dreams. But desperate acts will threaten them all.

I love flicks like this.  Drunk, violent, crazy motherfuckers getting into shit way over their heads.  You will thank the good Lord you are not prickish like some of the characters in this movie. Interesting soundtrack too.

Rise Of The Footsoldier- Football hooligan Carlton Leach's reputation for violence wins him a position as a foot soldier in the feared Inter City Firm gang, where he eventually rises to become one of the most powerful crime lords in England.

Fuck me if I don't love movies depicting the Brits as constant drinking brawling assholes who take no shit and start it at the drop of a hat.  God bless 'em!  Sometimes I think this world could use more of them.  Or not...

Jerry And Tom- Easygoing family man Tom (Joe Mantegna) -- used-car salesman by day, mob enforcer by night -- shows his brash co-worker Jerry (Sam Rockwell) the ropes of contract killing. Soon the young apprentice not only gets the hang of it but begins to enjoy killing strangers for money. For his directorial debut, Saul Rubinek assembled a formidable supporting cast that includes William H. Macy, Ted Danson and Charles Durning.

An oldie, but I had never seen it before.  Great cast.  Dark and funny.  Creative (and non-chalant) methods of clipping a fool are depicted here.  All I could find on YouTubes was a foreign language clip, but here is a link to an English version.

Mosin Nagant 91/30 Front Barrel Band: Who's Got One In Their Pocket? Now With Video Update! Wow!

How one little hunk of Soviet steel can whip the capitalist dog's ass

Yes.

I fucked up.

I bought a Mosin/Nagant (1943 Izzy) a while back thinking it would be cool to put an ATI synthetic stock on it.

Now...some ATI synthetic stock users say it's a simple drop-in for Mosins, some say not so much.

And to be fair, ATI clearly states in their advertising that some fitting may be required.

In my case, some fitting was required...and some fucking skills on my part were definitely required...and unfortunately, not present.

I'm neither a woodworker nor a detail man.  Nor am I  patient.  If I can't fix shit with a wrench or a 12 lb. sledgehammer, I'm lost.

Anyhoo...when I took the wood furniture off my Mosin, I had to take off both barrel rings.

The rear-most ring is larger than the front, and it easily slides over the front sight and off the rifle.  

The front ring is too small to fit over the front sight without using some kinda spreader tool.

(Or, one can remove the front sight.  Yeah...right!  I knew for a fact I would fuck THAT up royal and end up needing the services of a gunsmith to fix all the damage, costing me more than the rifle was worth.  No dice.) 

Well...I figured I wasn't gonna need that front barrel ring again seeing as my Mosin was gonna drop into my new ATI stock like buttered shit through a goose no problemo.  

Right? 

So what does fuck-head Zoomie do?  

He takes his trusty set of bolt cutters and zaps that Commie piece of spring steel in about half-a-second.  

Ping!  

That shit flies off the rifle and across the garage...destroyed and useless forever.  

Mr. Persuasion. my little friend.  Come to Papa!

Guess what?  

My Mosin was not a drop-in.  In fact, I fitted that motherfucker like...well...like a motherfucker!  I fitted that shit so much that I fitted too much.  

I had a pile of plastic shavings 2 inches deep on my workbench.  I butchered that piece of synthetic to the point that I was embarrassed at myself. 

Through a series of hidden washers and other dirty tricks, I managed to get the Mosin into the stock so it looks presentable to the untrained eye and seems to function check properly.  

The Mosin moves up and down a little bit inside the stock, though.  

I am not happy, and my happiness is of paramount importance.

I am so unhappy I have never even fired the thing.

A stock ruined, and $80 pissed away.

Fuck.  

Looks good, don't it?

Now...I can live with a lot of "engineered" stuff in my life.  God knows I do, because I am a cheap bastard.  

But not a jury-rigged firearm.  

I can't deal with that.

This is the kinda shit that keeps me up at night.

Yes.  I have issues.

So...I have decided I'm gonna cut my losses, assemble a usable/reliable weapon, and convert my Mosin back to its original, shoulder-fracturing configuration.  I will strip and refinish the wood and make it beautiful like I did my sons' Mosins.

Guess who needs a front barrel band now?

Dammit.

I have located a couple of intardnets sources...six bucks and I'm golden.

Time to break out the Visa card.

Apparently.

Shit.

To conclude...let this be a lesson to you all.  

Learn from my mistakes.

Know your limitations.

Don't be a dumb-ass. 

You're welcome.

This will be me soon.  Fuck yeah!

Yes. I know I sound like a Hoosier hill-rod.

Sue me.

It is finished!

Thanks to BuyMilSurp.com for the prompt service.

"Special Dark"....far left, and some of her relatives.

Nephew Returns To The Land Of The Great PX From Asscrackistan!

He is in the great state of Texas now.

We are all very happy and thankful for his safe return.

Thanks for the prayers and support.

There will be epic parties with booze and guns and drugs and cops and hookers and fire trucks.

What's All This Hub-Bub...

...about armored vehicles?

Neither eye nor ear protection!  That's dangerous!

Who knew 55 gallons of Hi-Test Texaco had HE/armor-piercing properties?

And why does Kojak's .30 cal. sound like that?

Is it a groovy real-world custom one-off hand-fabricated suppressed Browning .30 caliber machine gun?

I dunno, but we're gonna need cats like Kojak if tanks and armored cars are on our streets.

Like that could ever happen...

Anyhoo...I seem to recall being taught something in boot camp about a Hell-Bomb, but damned if I can remember exactly what it was.

Where's my Guidebook For Marines?

I never throw anything away.  

I know I have it here somewhere.

Getting old and forgetful is hell.

Shit.

Never mind.

I'm gonna take a nap.

Wolverines!

NASCAR, Indy, and Respect

The NECKCAR turds came-a-calling to my beloved Indianapolis Motor Speedway recently.

Them good ol' boys like to play that they have a deep respect for the Citadel Of Speed.

They wax poetically about their reverence for its history and tradition.

But what they say...and what they actually do...are two completely different things.

It's kinda like this:

Imagine YOUR teen daughter is dating a guy, and while the two of them are sitting in YOUR home...on YOUR couch...in YOUR living room...he tells you how much he respects and admires YOUR daughter...all the while having his hand up her skirt.

Knuckle deep.

Jimmy Johnson needs to reconsider parking his sled crossways on MY racetrack with his nose up against MY wall and then doing a disgusting and defiling and desecrating burnout on MY sacred bricks. 

Hey Jimmy.

Your hero and four-time Indy 500 winner Rick Mears never did any shit like you pulled Sunday.

He had too much class.

Fuck Jimmy Johnson.

Fuck Hendrick Motorsports.

Fuck NECKCAR. 

Some of you might be saying, "But...but...but...Zoomie!  You are being a classless boob yourself by using coarse language and cussing out the premier NECKCAR team in a public forum.  You are a hypocrite!"

Yeah...maybe.

Whatever.

But this is MY house, and I can say whatever the fuck I want here.

You don't like it, you can get the fuck out. 

NECKCAR can do the same fucking thing. 

Stay off MY bricks.

Assholes.

My Nephew

Just got word my nephew, who is an Army medic in AssCrackistan and got hit by IEDs twice and shot at (and survived intact) on the same day just prior to Independence Day, lost six of his unit killed in another IED attack a couple of days ago.
 

I spoke to his parents at my July 4th party.  

I was semi-sober and angry.

What else is new...right?

Anyhoo...this is what I told my nephew's folks:

Any (honorable) way you can, convince him to get his narrow ass home ASAP.  

He and his buddies are getting fucked up and killed for nothing but bankers, Wall Street, and the free flow of opiates and oil and arms.  

He's not protecting me or defending the United States.  

It's all bullshit, just as my service in GW1 was.  

My eyes are open now, and I have learned a lot these last ten years or so.  

He should be home, married to some sweet young thing, making babies, and working a good job.

Get him out of that fucking Army!

The young lad's folks seemed to pretty much agree with me.

They said they think the luster of the Army has worn off for the young man.

It was ironic that the last time I spoke to him was at Easter (...or was it Thanksgiving?), and he was all fired up and gung-ho about going over-seas.

I was horrified.

(I mentioned this to my wife, and she said, "You were the same way for Desert Storm."  I said, "I know, but I was a young dip-shit at the time!")

I told him to be careful about what he wished for, take care of himself and his troops, don't volunteer for shit anymore, and get himself home ASAP.

Yes.

I am the angry, cynical, hypocritical uncle.

He's a bright kid and extremely motivated, and has very much impressed me these last few years after graduating high school and since enlisting.

He has a promising future ahead of him.

I just hope to God he survives this fucked up bullshit to enjoy it.

Please...if any of y'all are the prayin' type, please send a few my nephew's way.

Thanks.

Godspeed, nephew.

You are in my thoughts daily.

And Now...A Word From Our President On This Independence Day Holiday...(and some other stuff)

BTW...the stick-figure man above is the extent of my free-hand artistic abilities.

Most of what you fine folks see here is shit I've stolen and adapted and manipulated for my own use.

I am so ashamed...

 

I present the following with apologies to DC Comics, Sergeant Rock, and Russ Heath...

Right click, open it in a new tab, and expand it to get the image in all its intended glory.

Doing all that shit kinda blows...I know.

A good concept poorly executed...

I suck.

Number One Son Graduates High School And Makes Dad Look Like A Genius!

I can fuck you up in any number of ways.  Just give me a second to get out of this goofy outfit first!

Number One Son graduated from his high school yesterday.

Seventh in his class of approximately 200…

One of those moments in life where I think all the constant nagging from my wife and I (parenting) has paid off.

One of those moments that make me think, “Fuck!  He actually listened to some of the shit I told him!”

I have often told him and his brother and sister to NOT do what I did.

"Study.  Work hard.  Don’t half-ass anything you do.  You are responsible for you, and you have nobody to blame but yourself for your failures.  Educate yourself and learn a skill that will allow you to earn a decent living.  Nobody owes you a living."

I am so proud of him the buttons on my shirt are popping off like an M-16 on full auto.

His good grades seemingly came easy for him. 

Math subjects like algebra and calculus, which, in ancient times caused my brain to shut down and my eyes to glaze over in glorious stupidity, were no great problem for him.

Finite math was another story, apparently, and he had to devote some actual study time to pass this course.

When I attempted finite math, I smoked bowls on the walk to class and arrived thoroughly baked.  I eventually dropped the course in order to avoid receiving my well-deserved F.

There’s a reason they call it “dope”…

I told all my kids early on that it would behoove them to learn Spanish as the country was being over-run, and having this skill would most likely end up being beneficial for any number of reasons.

Number One Son also excelled in Spanish language, although I have rarely heard him speak a word of it around me unless it was a Spanish curse word of some sort.

I think this is because I’ve always encouraged my kids to speak “American” at home, and that I constantly ask them to report to me any devious goings-on of their Commie-loving, Chavez-nut-gargling, Castro-ass-kissing, Che-worshipping Spanish teacher.

I REALLY hate that bitch.

Anyhoo…after years of prodding and listening to me tell him how NOT to do things, (and that there was basically no way I was going to be able to fund a college education for him), Number One Son decided to follow in his uncle’s footsteps and pursue the computer field.

No dumb shit like truck-driving for him…

He will be attending the local satellite office of Purdue University.

He received a small education scholarship or two, and took out a student loan in his own name.

Apparently, these facts, according to some, make my son and I members of the tax-devouring Free Shit Army, and we are to be despised and loathed by all true and real American patriots.

I dunno about all that. 

He earned the scholarships with his good grades, and he will repay his loans through working while/after attending school.

So…therefore…I don’t give two stinking shits what anybody says about my son and I being leaches on the system.

Fuck you anyway.

Besides all that, I taught him to shoot at an early age.

Another lesson from me he took to heart…

He is a crack shot with a handgun and a rifle.

He can fuck up your world with lead, and, someday, with computers…a frightening combination.

Yes.

I am a bad dad.

Congratulations, son.

Well done. 

I couldn’t be more proud of you.